Ritual and Ceremony

Posted Monday, April 16, 2007 5:07 AM

I think I've finally prompted my FI to discuss some of the ritual aspects of the wedding with his parents, which is important to the ceremony planning because we need to make some decisions on what sake set to purchase and we also need to coordinate the logistics and make sure this is all going to fly with our family members (who all tolerate some quirkiness with the two of us-- we just know that there is a limit).

The two unique ceremonial rituals include an exchange of swords and an exchange of sake. The sword exchange is our fusion concept of old, old, old Viking tradition and the sword-related martial art he practices. There is both a ceremony piece and a "real" piece to this exchange.

1. First, we have privately purchased a real sword set-- a katana, wakizashi and tanto.  They look something like this and they are made of folded steel (the real deal but not antiques-- basically what we could afford on a budget as our heirloom item):

Of course, for the ceremony, the real swords are way too dangerous, so we are purchasing a similar set that's an imitation (and will either be dulled or secured shut at the hilt or both).  I give him a sword that represents his promise to protect our home (and family) from danger and he gives me a sword that represents my promise to safeguard our family traditions, knowledge, and customs for future generations.  We then secure the rings to the sword hilts and use that as the means for exchanging the rings.  It's meant to symbolize the binding nature of the oath, which we both appreciated.  If we manage to choreograph this, it should be cool.  (I'll have to let you know once we get the "safe" swords for practicing..)

2. The second ceremony is a sake ceremony, which we are trying to decide on either as a fusion ceremony or a traditional one.  This is the part we need his family's input on.  We like the idea of fusing the families by offering them both wine (sake in this case) so we are having the bridesmaids serve the wine on trays to our parents (I'm changing the lining to ivory-- the navy isn't enough contrast). 

We then will either take sips from a san san kudo ceremonial set (three sips each from each of three cups) or we will just take sips out of one cup jointly. 

In a wine ceremony, a goblet or chalice is used:

But given that we're using sake, that'd have us rolling back down the aisle.  So I was thinking of using a masu cup instead--

I found this, which has the characters for Happiness emblazoned on the inside (at http://www.mrslinskitchen.com/index.htm) but perhaps we could find some other way to designate the cup as a special item?

 The rest of the ceremony should be more Western traditional, with a few tweaks, unless family members interject with other requests or suggestions...

Wedding processional-- oddly, we were all set for the standard Protestant order to a wedding processional when the groom has suggested that he needs an entrance song (he thinks it's unfair that only the bride has one).. so my current thought is adapting what appears to be the Jewish ceremony order.  There will be no attending grandparents, and neither sets of parents want to walk down the aisle with each other (or at all, in some cases), so I'm thinking it will be:

• Groom
• Groomsmen and Best Man 
• Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor
• Ring Bearer
• Two Flower Girls
• Me (escorted by my dad)

1. Introduction and the related greeting and warm up material
2. Reading 1- a funky poem
3. A little bit more from the officiant about marriage
4. Reading 2-- a passage from Lord of the Rings
5. Song (music on the shakuhachi)
6. We get serious with the exchange of swords and rings
7. We say our vows
8. We do the sake ceremony 
9. The officiant does the blessing/benediction
10. We have our first kiss as a married couple
11. Recessional-- we're hitched!