Can't please everyone so you got to please yourself

Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 2:58 PM

My family consists of my father and mother, who divorced when I was seven, and my stepmother, who gained that title later that same year when she married my dad. My mother didn't get remarried until I was eighteen to my stepfather, a man I dislike and hate associating him as family so usually gets the title Bob, instead of stepfather. From my parents marriage I have an older brother, whom I was very close to for most of my childhood. High school changed this toward the end, and issues with his then girlfriend now wife, caused a rift between us. From my mother's second marriage I gained two siblings who are just as bad as their father and I truly want nothing to do with them.

My dad and my stepmom are for my relationship with Kevin, and my stepmom is getting excited about planning a wedding. It is funny because it is the exact opposite of her reaction to my brothers wedding, perhaps because she knows that I don't EXPECT them to pay for everything. They have the stance that if I am happy they are happy for me. My mother and Bob, not so much. They are unhappy about the age gap between me and him. My mother has said since the death of my grandmother nine years ago that when I got married I could have my grandmother's wedding ring. When she was sitting on the couch with me and Kevin, I showed him the ring I get because she wears it. Her response? "Well maybe, might make you wait until I die like I did." Of course I know the real reason, at least this has been the stance for everything else, if she gives me the ring than she is saying that she is okay with my marriage and that she was supporting it. This was the same stance she had on why I couldn't drive the car that she helped me pay for to go visit my ex because she would be supporting my heathen activity. Oh believe me mom, I KNEW you were against that.

My brother is the same way. He has told me when I asked him hypothetically if Kevin and I got married he wouldn't come to the wedding. I was forced to be IN his wedding, I didn't even want to be there and I was told that was not an option. A wedding that only happened because of the birth of my nephew, not at the prospect of sharing a life together.  My mom is ok with his choice and I am starting to wonder if she will even be in attendance.  My sister-in-law, who I am not fond of either, she has always treated me badly, cussed me out multiple times, and treats my brother even worse, of course just eggs my brother on, not to mention will refuse attendance because my friends will be there and he has a "history" with all of them. Same thing goes with Bob. I have no regard for this mans opinion. He has no say in my life and personally I will never see him as a parental figure, but of course he feeds my moms theories.

The thing I think that gets to me is the fact that my mother has a rocky history with my sister in law. She has had multiple arguments, and cussing out sessions yet she gave her the benefit of the doubt that she changed (bunch of bull mind you) and went gladly to the wedding. Kevin has done nothing to deserve an adverse reaction from here, she even says that he seems to be a good man and genuine, he is just too old for me.

I simply don't get it. Kevin and I love each other, we want to be together for as long as time will allow us. We aren't  marring because of an unexpected pregnancy and it is what you are "supposed" to do, or because it is something that would be expected for any other reason, yet we are in the wrong. Nope, I just to get it.