Year mark!

Posted Saturday, November 07, 2009 6:25 PM

We reached the one year mark yesterday! I am so excited! Money issues have put a damper on the plans in that I can't put down any deposits, but I am trying really hard to stay positive. I just keep telling myself that I it is a year away and that we will be able to do this by then.

Photography

Posted Tuesday, October 27, 2009 6:25 PM

Well my next project is photography. I am having a tough decision because as of right now I have talked to one of them and emailed back an forth with another. I like the person that I talked to, but based on their work, I think I prefer the other. Kevin and I aren't really too worried about getting engagement photos done, but the one that I prefer their work offers that in their package and it is going to be cheaper than the other.

I really did like the personality of the other photographer, and still have every intention of meeting with her when I go back to Seattle, but I really am leaning toward the other. I am not sure if I should waste her time but at the same time I did tell her there was another photographer I was looking at as well. 

I am hoping that this will be a case where I can actually get Kevin to give me his input that doesn't consist of "whatever you want baby."

Wedding Binder!

Posted Saturday, October 24, 2009 2:44 PM

I am starting my wedding binder!! I am so excited! Kevin is a little leary of all of this just because right now he is jobless and thinking of paying for just one more thing with the money he doesn't have worries him. I understand all or this but I can't help but get excited. I just hope that my assurances to him that we will have plenty of time, it isn't HIM paying for it, it is US and all of those things ease that fear and worry. I know that he feels like he is letting me down and no matter how many times I tell him he isn't it won't take that bother away.

 When I talk to him about it I want him to think of the happy things, but I know that he wants to take care of me (all you liberal independent women out there reading this, I don't NEED him to, I know that he WANTS to though) and if he can't provide for us he will feel like he has failed. I have faith that he will have a job before next November and so will I, as it is December is going to add about 500-700 extra dollars to our wedding account, and if I get one of the jobs I am applying for on campus about 50 every month after that. 

I just wish that he could share more in my excitement of all of this. I know that he does, but because of the money issues he can't do it as freely as I can. I guess I have just never really had money to do whatever I want right then and there, so the fact that I don't now is nothing new to me. I am really good with money and have always managed to get a lot of the things I want and need just because I know how to save for it. Because of this I have no doubt that we will be able to have this wedding in November, and we will even have money left over. (I hope!)

Can't please everyone so you got to please yourself

Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 2:58 PM

My family consists of my father and mother, who divorced when I was seven, and my stepmother, who gained that title later that same year when she married my dad. My mother didn't get remarried until I was eighteen to my stepfather, a man I dislike and hate associating him as family so usually gets the title Bob, instead of stepfather. From my parents marriage I have an older brother, whom I was very close to for most of my childhood. High school changed this toward the end, and issues with his then girlfriend now wife, caused a rift between us. From my mother's second marriage I gained two siblings who are just as bad as their father and I truly want nothing to do with them.

My dad and my stepmom are for my relationship with Kevin, and my stepmom is getting excited about planning a wedding. It is funny because it is the exact opposite of her reaction to my brothers wedding, perhaps because she knows that I don't EXPECT them to pay for everything. They have the stance that if I am happy they are happy for me. My mother and Bob, not so much. They are unhappy about the age gap between me and him. My mother has said since the death of my grandmother nine years ago that when I got married I could have my grandmother's wedding ring. When she was sitting on the couch with me and Kevin, I showed him the ring I get because she wears it. Her response? "Well maybe, might make you wait until I die like I did." Of course I know the real reason, at least this has been the stance for everything else, if she gives me the ring than she is saying that she is okay with my marriage and that she was supporting it. This was the same stance she had on why I couldn't drive the car that she helped me pay for to go visit my ex because she would be supporting my heathen activity. Oh believe me mom, I KNEW you were against that.

My brother is the same way. He has told me when I asked him hypothetically if Kevin and I got married he wouldn't come to the wedding. I was forced to be IN his wedding, I didn't even want to be there and I was told that was not an option. A wedding that only happened because of the birth of my nephew, not at the prospect of sharing a life together.  My mom is ok with his choice and I am starting to wonder if she will even be in attendance.  My sister-in-law, who I am not fond of either, she has always treated me badly, cussed me out multiple times, and treats my brother even worse, of course just eggs my brother on, not to mention will refuse attendance because my friends will be there and he has a "history" with all of them. Same thing goes with Bob. I have no regard for this mans opinion. He has no say in my life and personally I will never see him as a parental figure, but of course he feeds my moms theories.

The thing I think that gets to me is the fact that my mother has a rocky history with my sister in law. She has had multiple arguments, and cussing out sessions yet she gave her the benefit of the doubt that she changed (bunch of bull mind you) and went gladly to the wedding. Kevin has done nothing to deserve an adverse reaction from here, she even says that he seems to be a good man and genuine, he is just too old for me.

I simply don't get it. Kevin and I love each other, we want to be together for as long as time will allow us. We aren't  marring because of an unexpected pregnancy and it is what you are "supposed" to do, or because it is something that would be expected for any other reason, yet we are in the wrong. Nope, I just to get it.

Hurry up and wait

Posted Monday, October 12, 2009 11:43 AM

Things for the wedding are at a stand still. We have only $100 in our wedding fund and with neither of us working there is no extra money to put there. I did get to go spend the weekend with Kevin, and it was so nice to be together, in what could possibly be our future home for a while. Being able to go to the commissary together and plan dinners, then get to sit down together, I cooked and he did the dishes! It is those little glimpses of what our future will be like.

 Kevin did meet my mom last weekend because he came to visit for the week and I ended up having to have my gall bladder removed. Things went decently, there were no casualties, but I know  the my mom still doesn't like it and she isn't trying very hard to cover up that fact. Upside is that he gets to meet my dad this weekend who is coming out to visit me this weekend!

I am going to have to push my parents to figure out when I am coming home for Christmas so that I can get back with the venue I am going to visit. If Kevin and I have a job I am hoping that I can get enough and put a deposit for November. I am pretty sure that this will be the safest bet unless his old job can hire him back sooner than April. (All these military contracts and stuff it is a very wait and see thing even though he is no longer IN the military, very frustrating sometimes!)

Venue

Posted Monday, September 28, 2009 12:23 AM

I have contacted 5 perspective places for the ceremony, and about 3 of them have gotten back so far, and I have set up a tentative meeting with one in December. I am so excited! I am hoping that the weather will be better than last year at home because that is when I will be there and the first chance that I will have to look at the venue. It is about 2 hours away so if the snow comes down like it did last year I won't be able to make that trip out there. But I am thinking positive!

Speed Bumps

Posted Saturday, September 26, 2009 4:06 PM

Kevin asked me to marry him months ago but we weren't considering ourselves engaged because of the lack of ring. Now we know this doesn't make us engaged or not but we just figure when he could afford a ring, we could start planning and make the announcement. We decided that we wanted to do the wedding sooner rather than later and were very reliant on his job to be able to get the ring soon and start saving for a summer wedding, but his job situation has faltered. Granted after the bad news of a contract not being renewed we got better news that it may be only temporary.

If this is the case he will only be sparatically employed until April and I am currently unemployed too. Though I am looking, I am also taking the maximum amount of credits, I may not be able to work much. Let's not forget that the pay will probably be minimum wage so I will not be making much to add to our fund. Sadly this means that our summer wedding may not be a reality. We want to have the wedding we want not just what we can afford.

Other speed bump has been in part of my family. If you looked at the page you can tell by the pictures that there is a significant age difference between the two of us. This is frowned upon by my mother and her husband, and my brother and his wife. I was in both of their weddings, my opinion on both of their spouses irrelavent. However, my brother may not even show up and my mom refuses to even meet him. Luckily my father and step mother are excited for me and have the stance that they want me to be happy, if he is what makes me happy they don't care about the age difference. They do want me to realize the things that may come from it, such as less time together, public criticism, and all of that, but that if he and I can deal with that more power to us.

I am glad that they have this stance because I am planning our wedding long distance. I am at school in Tennessee and he is in Missouri, and we are having the wedding in Seattle. This is going to be fun!