Power of positive thinking....
Posted
Friday, December 07, 2007 2:17 PM
Today I read an entry from yellowroses510, whose wedding is in one week. She'd been having some issues with a bridesmaid, but she smoothed them out, and all is well. That's positive thinking at work right there!
But that's where wedding-party resentment hits me. Sometimes--not enough to severely impact anything, but sometimes--I still think about one of my 'maids backing out. Right after Will and I got engaged, I called four of my closest friends and asked them to be in the bridal party. Three bridesmaids and the maid of honor. My "MOH" was my best childhood friend; we've known each other since kindergarten and first grade, and we don't get many chances to talk now, but we've remained lifelong friends. She was always my MOH, even in my crazy kiddie wedding dreams..but she backed out. She has plans to study abroad this semester, and then go to med school once she graduates college...but our wedding isn't until 2009. Four months in England doesn't have to mean she can't share my day with me, right? Or does it? She basically refused, then caught me off-guard with "Can I still come to the wedding?" Thing is, she's been flaky and weird since we met back in elementary school, and I've always known she has different values, and ways of thinking. I guess all that really came out when she chose England over a wedding she has two years to plan for, so......
I didn't give her a firm "yes, you're still invited" answer. It sounds terrible of me, and I'm not usually a vengeful person, but I don't want her there. She won't be on my guest list. (In a logistic sense, regarding just the wedding day itself, if she couldn't spare the time to be there for me as a bridesmaid, why would she suddenly make the time to be a guest?) Will was quick to agree...we'll be surrounded by friends and family who mean the most to us on that day, including our bridal party. (I've asked Will's little sister to be my MOH now.) Need to work on that positive thinking of mine. I know it's back there, in my mind, waiting to make me feel better :)
Here come the positive thoughts:
1) I refuse to think of Jessica as my "second choice MOH". She was the perfect choice all along. We got along like sisters almost immediately when we met, and she's already got a special place in my heart.
2) One of my other 'maids got engaged just yesterday, and has asked me to be there for her as a bridesmaid when her wedding comes--it's also two years from now, but won't conflict. I said yes immediately. "Friends come first." That's what I think. It's an honor to be asked, and I wouldn't dream of saying no.
Hopefully now that I've vented my frustration, this resentment won't bother me so much anymore. My childhood friend refused me, and I have to deal. It still makes me sad, sometimes, but I won't dwell on it.
Hmm..what do you know? Thinking about all the fun to come has made me feel better already :)