Posted Thursday, August 21, 2008 3:43 PM
Like so many other women (and men) scorned, I swore I'd never get married again.
Who needs marriage, right? Once you find someone, you can just live together. You don't need a certificate to know you're committed to someone else. And if you don't get married, you don't have to pay to break up with someone. I just didn't see the point.
Until I was asked. And then everything changed.
I was about 6 when we first met. I don't remember the moment, I just remember chickens hatching during our spelling test in Sister Bonnie's first grade class. I remember wearing the awful plaid uniforms, changing into blue monogrammed polyester gym shorts and doing jumping jacks on the black top.
I remember learning about cumulous clouds in second grade and shading in the third grade. During recess we used to gather in the dirt pit beneath the pecan trees to shoot marbles. We didn't know what Crown Royal was, but we longed for those purple bags with the gold stitching that the other children used to carry their marbles.
We both attended a parochial school in southeast Texas in the late 1980s. Though neither of us were Catholic, our mothers decided to send us there instead of the public schools.
My mother was the maid of honor is his mother and stepfather's wedding nearly 19 years ago, and a few months later his family moved to Bremerton, Wash. At the end of the school year, my family moved to Virginia. Such is the Navy life.
Sixteen years later I ran across his sister online, while searching for someone else. Our parents had spoken again. His were living in Millington, mine were moving to the area. Things like this happen with the military; you often end up with the people you knew once upon a time.
Last year his sister urged me to call him. He was going through a divorce and while we had no intentions of dating, met at the playground to reconnect while our children played.
While on the playground, a stranger asked if our daughters were twins. He appeared out of nowhere, really, but seemed to want to talk. I'm a sucker for people who need an ear, apparently, and listened to the man for nearly 15 minutes.
What he told me was almost spooky, and it's almost unbelievable. He said spirits talked to him. They gave him messages. And they had a message for me: "It's from Heaven." He told me that he didn't know what it meant, that I would know sooner or later.
Minutes later he was gone, just as mysteriously as when he appeared.
A year later, I know what it means. And that's why I said yes.
Having gone through the fire with a previous relationship, I know this time will be different. Completely different.
Having met again the way we did, I have to believe that this is something greater than coincidence.
Studies show that marriage makes you happier, healthier and shows your children you are committed. Marriage means tax breaks and two incomes. Marriage means having someone in-house when you feel like fighting.
All of this I like.
So when he was down on one knee and was asking me, I had to ask myself, "Why marriage?"
Because. It's from Heaven.
And besides, he finally got me that Crown Royal bag filled with marbles. I'd say he's a keeper.