ramonaruby's Blog

What to do in your spare time after the wedding.

ramonaruby — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 18:36:00 GMT

Now that the wedding is over and the planning all done, I feel like I only have one full-time job rather than two. While it is great to have all this spare time now on my lunch breaks, in the evening, and on the weekends, I got so used to being productive every waking moment. So now when I am not doing anything I feel oddly guilty or restless.

To fill my time, I have considered many new hobbies (it sounds like I am going through a mid-life crisis!):

*English-style horseback riding

*Ballroom dancing

*Tap dancing

*Getting certified in sky diving (yes, I am serious)

*Learning new languages (I am considering fine-tuning my French, learning Spanish and Chinese)

*Travelling the world

*Fishing

The crazy thing is I even went as far as researching lessons and planning to purchase the necessary attire! I think DH thought I was nuts when he saw my pricing riding helmets and tap shoes!

What I actually have been doing has made a lot more sense and is a lot more practical:

*Painting (a good way to use up that leftover bride creativity)

*Redecorating our loft (with all the new registry stuff, our place called for this)

*Making extensive Married and Honeymoon Bios

*Helping DH with his college football blog

*Planning our next 3 vacations (the honeymoon put a serious travel bug in us)

I am sure I can figure out how to fill my time until the next obsession hits (home buying eventually). It is just so weird after 1.5 years of wedding planning being my primary hobby, to not have it anymore, though I do feel a huge weight off my back!

A Few Budgeting Tips

ramonaruby — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 01:30:00 GMT

You've heard all of the usual tips to for staying within your wedding budget (cutting guest list, prioritizing items that are the most important to you, etc.). Well, as a bride that has spent the last 16 months scrimping and saving to make my dream wedding a reality, I thought I'd pass on a few of my money-saving tips.

*eBay is your friend!! This not only includes searching regularly, but also contacting sellers directly to make offers as well as posting "Want it Now" listings. I got my garter via a "Want it Now" post, and got several offers from sellers for Texas garters. I also made an offer to a seller for my CZ cuff bracelet and saved $50 off his Buy-it-Now price.

*If you get regular manicures and pedicures, cut the frequency in half (if not more). I am not saying let your nails and cuticles go by any means (as I think nice nails and hands are a sign of being "put together" and looking professional). Instead of going weekly or bi-weekly, try monthly, and in the off weeks, take matters into your own hands (pun intended). I found that their are two keys to looking salon fresh while DIY'ing: salon qualiy polishes (such as OPI - check your local beauty supply store), and maintained cuticles (you can buy cuticle trimmers at your local drug store). A pumis stone (also available at drug stores, beauty supply stores, or dollar stores) can also keep your feet smooth. I know it may be hard for you to consider cutting back on this type of pampering. It was hard for me too at first, but I ended up saving at least $60 a month by cutting back.

*More DIY beauty: facial waxing. I am SOOO thankful I discovered Nair home wax strips. I would never have thought to try them if I hadn't gotten a free sample one day. I found that with these strips, you can get an accurate, clean wax at home with salon quality results. The box is $7.00 and lasts for months (a lip wax at a cheap salon starts at $7.00 each, so it pays for itself immediately). Some boxes even include a coupon for a discount off the next box you buy. Some of you may not trust yourself with your own brows, so still continue to see a professional for that, but there is no reason you need to pay a professional for a lip wax that you can DIY. For those of you who do want to save on the brow waxing, what I do is maintain below the brows with tweezers, and use the wax strips to keep the easier above-the-brow strays away.

*If you have a private spot at home to tan, get your base tan au naturel before spending the minimum of $30 a month at a tanning salon. If you want to have a nice even tan closer to the wedding, go to a tanning salon for a month prior to the wedding, but before that, why pay if you can get the base going at home for free?

*Clip coupons for groceries. If you have a Ralph's local to you, they do a great thing in the Sunday papers each week. In the Sunday paper Ralph's usually has an ad that shows you the best deals for the week if you combine an in-store sale with the coupons (that they double) that are included in the same Sunday paper. By scanning this ad and clipping coupons accordingly, you can get many name brand items for $1.00, $0.50, and even FREE. I love that Ralph's does this work for you!

*Speaking of the paper, if you don't have time to read it much during the week, downgrade your subscription to weekends only, or even just only Sunday. This is also better for the environment since you are just gonna toss all of the papers during the week anyway.

*Speaking of food/grocery shopping, plan your meals out for the week or two, and shop for everything. When you know you have good meals planned and all the ingredients stocked, there is less of a temptation to go out to eat and spend 3-5x the amount for one meal than you would pay if you just purchased the ingredients at the grocery store. This is also healthier, as when you cook your own food you are more aware of what is going in your body (including the calorie, fat, carbs, etc. if you are cooking from recipes), as opposed to when you are going out to eat and gorge yourself on large portions, appetizers, and bread or chips.

*Like wine? Keep your eyes out for sales on your faves at BevMo during their $0.05 sale. Even without the sale, you save 2-3x the amount buying your bottles at the store and enjoying at home compared to restaurant mark-ups.

*Sign-up for email mailing lists for Joann's, Michael's, MyPublisher, and other WR craft and supply retailers. Sometimes I wait for a good free shipping or discount promo code so I can purchase items online. Not only do I save gas money by not having to drive across town to these craft stores (and for the same price if you get free shipping, or even sometimes less), but I also save time (as I don't have to leave work early to make it to one of these stores during business hours).

*Try not to shop as much for your own clothes. I know, this is HARD! This has been one of the hardest things for me this year. I justified shopping trips if I could tie my finds into being WR purchases (honeymoon or bachelorette party outfits and shoes, etc.). When it's tough, just remember how much your wedding dress costs, and think that since you purchased yourself an outfit for $_____ this year, you have to give up some other outfits. Of course, make sure you have nice, polished outfits for work, but try to curb the shopping a bit for the rest of the time. Also, avoid shopping on your dept. store/retail credit cards, because the monthly payment will be higher (and therefore still cost you money that you are trying to save). Then, have a nice spree like Fi and I did a few weeks ago when we got our wedding and honeymoon wardrobe (but make sure you account for this spree in your wedding budget and try and stick to it).

*If you are like me, wedding planning is your favorite hobby this year. Because of this, I can't think of many other priorities or passions of mine in the past year besides wedding planning. Because of this, I let my friends and family know that any gifts for me for my B-Day and the holidays this past year should be WR (to save some of my budget). I even would offer some suggestions for gifts to them if they asked, and included small things like the champagne glass toasting set I wanted, certain postage stamps that we wanted for our STD's, a check for $70 so that someone could "get us" our marriage license, the archival quality pens I wanted for my guestbook from Target, etc. This was a win-win situation. My friends and family knew they were getting me a gift I really wanted and that was really helpful to me, and I got to cross things out of my budget!

*Ask Knotties! I know I have saved some money thanks to the helpful gals on the Knot. For example, I may have paid full retail price on personalized embroidered hankies from Exclusively Weddings if I hadn't heard about Felicia's Fancies from Knottie Mrs.Veroni (where you can get the same product for 1/3 of the price).

OK, I think that's enough for now. :) While on one hand I can't wait to be done budgeting, I also feel like this was a good habit to start. Now that Fi and I are more conscious of our spending, it may help us with our next stages (saving for a house, then eventually saving for children and their college educations).

Why to have a Knottie Table at your Wedding

ramonaruby — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 22:47:00 GMT

When Fi and I realized that we weren't going to reach our minumum number of paid guests for our wedding, I convinced him to let me have a Knottie Table. Why not? We are paying for the meals anyway, so may as well let someone enjoy them!

Knotties also make great wedding guests. We recently joked on the LA Board and people submitted "applications" with qualifications on why brides should choose them for their Knottie Tables. Here are several reasons why it is a great benefit to have Knotties at your wedding (this list created with help from the fabulous LA Knotties...and I do mean fabulous... we have had several Brides of the Week within the last few months, including the last two weeks in a row!):

*They will notice and appreciate the details (unlike other guests that just remember the booze )

*They will take lots of pics and AW them for you while you are on your HM

*Because they are among the few people there that sympathize and care about everything going well for you, they may even jump in as a DOC if necessary

*PinkCheese even offers to tackle FMIL for you if she sees your stress level growing and FMIL getting too close (oh, and because she also threatens to crash your wedding if she is not invited, so this way you avoid a crasher). <3 you Pink!

*They appreciate your DIY

*They will drink and dance to get that party going and keep people on the dance floor

*Brides are beautiful, so they will make your pics look fabulous!

*From chocolatelvr: "because if anyone shows up in a vajayjay flashing skirt/ backless blouse/ or any other hoochiesk clothing, I will give them the stink eye and talk *** amongst the other girls until said guest feels so uncomfortable that they leave." She also claims she will do the "two snaps and a twirl move" when you walk past her down the aisle. Love it!

*From thecheshirekat: "I can show up early to help set everything up, and I still have a full toolkit in my trunk from my days as a set dresser, so I can fix anything that's falling down, coming apart, or just generally looking weird.

I will make conversation with the annoying people who want to monopolize you all night so you don't have to deal with it. That includes old folks.

I will NOT leave your favor behind, edible or not, and it will sit on a shelf in my home for the rest of my life. I'm a sentimental freak like that, and a pack rat to boot (see previous comment about my trunk)."

*They will snag passed hors d'oeuevres for you during cocktail hour whilke you are getting your pics taken (so you can actually see and enjoy the fabulous aps you chose)

*They are basically "insurance." These girls can jump in and save the day before guests notice anything may be going wrong.

So hook up a fellow Knottie with some prime rib and open bar!

OK, now in all seriosness, I am so stoked that Fi was open to the Knottie table idea. I hope my Knotties have a great time at the wedding! It's a GTG :D. Plus, when you think about it (at least for me), some of these girls know more about me and what I've been going through during the past year and a half than a good amount of the RL friends and other guests that are invited to the wedding. I am also thankful that I have gotten to meet most of these beautiful ladies IRL several times over the past year and a half. Heck, if people can meet their Fi's and DH's online, there is no reason we can't make new friends online that are special enough to join us on our big day.

Wedding Humor

ramonaruby — Mon, 19 May 2008 01:33:00 GMT

With 34 days left, nothing like a little wedding humor to lighten the stress. I figured it'd be fun to share some of these things I have found to give other brides a giggle or two. Some you may have seen, but heck, doesn't hurt to see them again. Enjoy!

Thanks to LA Knottie Lottifish for this Dilbert comic. It is so true!

LA Knottie PinkCheese uses this one as her siggy. Let's get the party started!

I am praying this doesn't happen to me :).

Couples that shouldn't even consider hyphenation.

Here's to MOB's!

ramonaruby — Sun, 04 May 2008 23:49:00 GMT

Since wedding planning has been my hobby for the past 15 months, it is pretty much all I talk and think about. Per my last blog post, it is rare for me to have a conversation (any conversation) without finding a way to work in something about the wedding or the fact that I am getting married. It is always in the back of my mind.

While some people in my life are probably getting tired of the W-word, the one person who I know will always listen to (and truly care about) any little WR detail is my mom.

Let's raise a glass of Two-Buck Chuck for MOB's, who are probably the only people that truly care about our wedding almost as much as we do. They take our favor wrapping deliberations to heart, and memorize our pre-wedding itinerary. They truly consider the differences between linen fabric as well as the best time to get the escort cards and table numbers to the venue. They understand a freak-out we may have regarding the postal rate increase occuring in the middle of our sending the invitations and RSVP deadline (and reason with us to make us feel that the Forever Stamp is not just an ugly Liberty Bell that doesn't match my color scheme, but representative of Fi and I being together forever). They share an equal concern over cake flavors and offer to stay with us as often as we need to take care of any detail they can.

In addition to these reasons (and many others), one thing that makes me MOB so cool is that she signs off all of her emails to me at MOB, ___ more days. And yes, she actually abbreviates it as "MOB."

Thanks mom, I love you! Your little girl will be a bride in 48 days!

Less than two months!!

ramonaruby — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:41:00 GMT

I am in awe that the wedding is less than two months away. When I first started planning, my wedding counters were over 500 days and now I am down to 60! Where does the time go?

How things have changed since I started the planning process:

I have less patience
Co-workers tell me I seem more stressed out than normal
When asked about my engagement and wedding date, I no longer answer "June 21st" in a flighty, romantic tone. Instead I answer (with the same response) in a rushed, slightly paniced tone.
I can finally start to "see" my wedding, and not just picture it in imaginary, theoretical pieces
Bridezilla tendencies creep out every once in a while
I now can name way more varieties of flowers than I ever thought possible
I catch myself noticing certain color combos and patterns and thinking of how cool they would look in a wedding scheme
I can name significant others of most people in my family and in my life
I can now not have a single conversation without the word "wedding" or "married" coming up (it is always on my mind)
I forget what it's like to have free time (my hobbies and everything in my non-work time are wedding related)
I forget what it's like to go shopping or out to eat on a whim (everything is highly budgeted)
My coffee table looks like a Michael's Crafts exploded on it
I have no qualms about meeting "strangers" from the internet IRL at GTG's
Everything I consider doing, buying, or eating has to go through the "how does this affect the wedding/how is this wedding-related" filter

I am sure there are more!

Honestly, I love being a bride and planning a wedding, and am so thankful for the long engagement (as it made planning less stressful over-all), however, the draw-back of the long engagement is that I am now in a place where I just want the wedding to be here, be good, and be done. Fi and I can't wait to be relaxing in Thailand...

Wedding Nightmares

ramonaruby — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:10:00 GMT

Throughout my entire engagement I have periodically had wedding nightmares. All of the sudden this week I have had them nightly. What's up with that? I hate waking up stressed! Sleep should be relaxing. The days are stressful enough!

Anyway, my most recent wedding nightmare was last night. I dreamt that it was wedding day (henceforth to be referred to as "W-Day"), and - since Fi and I are having a friend perform the ceremony and have written it ourselves - we had not finished writing the ceremony, nor had given it to our officients to practice, or to even have for W-Day. I (in the midst of hair and makeup and "getting ready" pics) was trying to find the file and print, and somehow get to the officiants.

Another this week was regarding it being W-Day and needing to pay off all the vendors, but not having the $$. Totall scary thought, because there is nothing I could do that day.

Yet another involved not having a florist (though I have one, and a fabulous one at that), and having to try and throw arrangements and bouquets together myself on W-Day with all the guests there, in my dress, and without hair and makeup (and running out of time to even do hair and makeup at all).

I think I even had a separate "bad hair" WR dream where I didn't have someone to do it, and it looked terrible, but I was running out of time and had to go anyway.

On one hand, I feel like my planning is very much on track and organized, but on the other, I wonder what these "not being prepared" and "not having money" dreams mean. Maybe it comes down to having been planning for over a year, therefore the idea of a perfect, complete wedding being a life obsession, thus translating into my dreams as deep fears.

Anyway, I am just glad it is a long weekend so that I can have another productive WR weekend. I hope that the more I stay ahead of the planning, the less I will have these dreams, and the less likely I will be to have a bridal freak-out.

Thanks for listening :).

To hyphenate or not to hyphenate?

ramonaruby — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:50:00 GMT

It's my first Knot blog post!! This is the first step in my acheiving my Knot goal of one day being the Knottie Bride of the Week!

Anyway, so on to my first topic. This is something that I have been deliberating for quite some time, but now that the wedding is looming, I need to face it and make a choice.

As a little girl, I was one of those that would always doodle my name with a boyfriend or a crush's last name. It always seemed a given that I would get married and take my husband's name.

Now that I have lived with my last name for 26 years and am getting married do I truly realize how much I love my last name. Not only does it represent my cultural heritage, but it also just flows really nicely with my first name. Fi's last name is by no means a bad name, it is just, well, average.

Fi is an amazing and supportive man who has made sure I know that this is my decision and that he would respect whatever decision I made. However, I know he would be disappointed if I didn't take his name at all. Hyphenating would be a nice medium, however, is it worth adding more letters to my name and signature? Both our names are relatively short, but still. Hyphenating may also be a good way to ease into the new name professionally so that there is no confusion among my co-workers and other associates.

On one hand I love having the identity that my current name provides, but on the other, just taking Fi's name would enable me to make a new identity as the wife of the man I love. It is also early enough in my career to where I have plenty of time to create a "new name for myself" professionally.

Anyway, that is enough rambling for one post. I guess I still have some thinking to do on this subject.