Weddings are like Onions?

Posted Wednesday, July 08, 2009 2:55 PM

     I always thought wedding planning would come easy for me, mainly because I cared so little about planning a wedding - until I became engaged.  At first, it seemed like everything was coming easy, but then I realized that, like people, wedding planning is like an onion, and everything has many layers.  For example, I reserved the venue I've always wanted for the ceremony and reception, but failed to address any of the details - is there outdoor space available?  do I need to rent chairs for the ceremony?  where can we take pictures?  That was mistake number one.

     My second mistake was assuming that, because I was planning everything myself and trying to be as cost-effective as possible, my wedding would fall well within the fairly conservative budget I set for myself (or, better phrased, for my father) when I started planning this thing.  Being that I have a pretty understated style, I also [foolishly] assumed that my wedding would be inexpensive because I don't feel the need to go "all out."  However, even with a modestly priced dress, photographer, florist, and ceremony/reception music, it is clear that I was a fool to think I could have the wedding I want and come in below the average cost of a modern wedding.

     The third, and perhaps biggest, mistake was that I didn't think it would at all be difficult to plan a New Orleans wedding from Charlotte, North Carolina, without any family in New Orleans and only 1 member of my wedding party living there (who, by the way, still doesn't know she's even in the wedding!).  The distance has forced me to plan everything piecemeal.  Even though I'm slowly making progress, bit by bit, I still feel as if I'm dreadfully behind.

     The moral of this story is, especially if you're an out-of-town bride, try not to get so caught up in the pre-wedding bliss that you become unable to see the trees for the forest.  And, yes, I meant what I said.  I've been focusing so much on the big event as an idea that I haven't paid enough attention to the fine details, which in the end make the difference between a 5-star gala and a slipshod disaster.  I still have lots of time to iron out all the kinks, but some things are already beyond repair - among other things, I put a deposit down on a venue for my ceremony AND reception without knowing ANYTHING about the logistics; I slacked in choosing a rehearsal dinner venue and am now stuck with b - and c list options that I cannot even see in person before making the final decision; and I contracted with a photographer without arranging for the potential to shoot in 2 locations.  So, to the brides-to-be who still have time to make all the important decisions, make sure you come prepared, ask all the right questions up front, and leave yourself plenty of alternatives if the vendor/venue of your dreams doesn't work out.