All part of the plan

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:35 PM

I'm leaving town. That's right. I'm out of here.

I've thought about it and decided now that I've picked up my postage for the invitations and dropped them off with the calligrapher, changed my address with the DMV, tried on my dress, met with the rabbi, updated our registry, taken our engagement pictures, figured out a timeline for the day-of-the-wedding photos, printed up inserts about our Chicago auf ruf, had my make-up trial and bought the paper for the ceremony program – there's only one thing I can possibly do: get on a plane and say adios L.A.

Just kidding (I'll only be in Chicago for the weekend at a shower).

While I wish I could wave my magic wand and summon the wedding fairy to complete everything else on my checklist, I know it is just not a possibility (I'm bringing my name-change kit, do-not-play list, must-take photo list and thank you notes on the plane with me). I knew from the get-go I did not want a wedding planner –- and I still do not have one. According to the knot checklist, I've finished 111 "to dos" and I have 74 to go –- although 30 of them take place the week of the wedding or just after.

I have two checklists I'm working with (one secular, one Jewish), not to mention a very helpful fiancé who asks me daily how he can help.

I was watching a show last night on MTV titled "True Life: I Am Getting Married" where a Jewish bride in Florida said she quit her job so she could plan her wedding. WHAT? Either she was an idiot or … nope … there can be no other reason. She's an idiot. If you have to quit your job to plan your wedding, you are doing something wrong (of course this bride also spent $3,500 on a cake).

We have a coordinator at our venue, but she'll only be there from the ketubbah signing until the end of the ceremony. After that, the emcee and the caterer take over and yours truly gets to enjoy the fun. My mantra for the day will be: If something goes wrong, I don't want to know.

Yes I have my moments where I want to throw my computer -- and several family members -- out the window: Is it and or & on the invites? What order will we be sending the tables to the buffet? How much space do I have in the bride's room? If all I have the day of the wedding is a Starbucks, does that count as fasting?

Every bride-to-be wants to make the wedding day as special and unique as possible. The important thing is not to do it at the expense of your sanity, which is worth far more than any cake in the history of weddings.