To avoid losing my mind...

Posted Friday, December 12, 2008 12:52 PM

Since I'm in way over my head and the message boards here are super-scary (I popped my cherry with a post about color ideas, and pretty much got raked over the coals for daring to have an outdoor summer wedding at all), I figure I'll get all of this wedding jazz out of my system blog-style. So what do you need to know?

First: I never planned on getting married. In fact, until I met Erik, I swore up and down that it was irrational to want to spend the rest of one's life with just one partner. Now, I can't imagine doing anything but.

Second: I am frugal. Good deals excite me, and I'm sure I'll mention prices fairly constantly.

Third: I like to pretend I'm not picky... but I am.  

Erik proposed on 10/26. We set a date four days later and started looking at venues about two weeks after that. I read through all the bridal magazines, did hours of research online, and talked to a few people in the area before booking a tour at Glenview Mansion in Rockville, MD. It was absolutely gorgeous and everything I wanted: bridal prep, ceremony and reception at the same site; water feature; white ceremony chairs; no need for a tent; no room for a sit-down reception; great staff; and two miles flat from my parents' house. Plus the whole place is beautifully furnished and decorated, and there's room for two bars. It was expensive, but 10 days and 8 tours later, we called back and put down the deposit - everything else in the area paled in comparison.

My parents gave me a budget of $20,000. That's pretty much nothing considering the national average is $28,732 and weddings in the DC area hover around $43,843. Though they've offered me more since realizing just how expensive everything is, it's my goal to stick to the 20 grand - because seriously, this is only ONE DAY! Besides, it's all I can do to not call the whole thing off and use their generous donation as the downpayment on a house. But what would the family say, right? So that's what we're working with.

When we first started compiling the guest list, I figured we'd max out around 125. But after talking to family, factoring in plus-ones, and adding all of his mother's friends (arg), it quickly ballooned up to 197. We've only legitimately B-listed about 30 people, and I've already cut almost all of my friends. But we're hoping that the travel (his family's centered in Florida) and the season (late July summers in MD tend towards humid and disgusting) will help widdle the number down a bit more.

My save-the-dates are homemade works of art! I designed them myself, printed them on squares of vellum, attached each square to a lime-green cardstock backing, adhered a magnet, and topped each with a small ribbon tied in a perfect little ecru bow. Most guests will be receiving just the card, but my nearest and dearest will have accompanying sugar cookies (my best recipe) with royal icing and our monogram. I'll upload pictures of everything when I send them out in late Jan. The whole project (84 mailings) will set me back about $100, including materials, baking supplies, and postage.

My favorite part of the planning process has been the favors! I realized early on that I should do something special for the guests who would be seated outside during the ceremony. (Maybe I did learn something from those nasty replies to my first post!) Google found me gorgeous sandalwood fans in glassine-topped boxes - perfect! But at $1.50/piece, I couldn't justify the purchase. Luckily, fans don't sell that well in winter, and I was able to win an eBay lot of 100 fans (in boxes) for just $70 including shipping. Now I know what you're thinking: I said around 150-200 guests, didn't I? And aren't fans a little girly?

Well, with the money I saved I was able to buy wholesale boxes of white cotton handkerchiefs, which I've dyed to a nice light brown (in tea, to match the sandalwood fans) and will embroider with our initials and date. $41 for 84 hankies, and now the men will have something with which to mop their brows as the ladies fan themselves. We don't plan on having programs, but tags attached to each of the ceremony favors can be imprinted with any key information if we feel it's necessary.

My piece de resistance, however, was finding mini margarita glasses from Crate and Barrel. They're about 4.5 inches high, hold 5 ounces, are heavy glass, and were only $0.95/piece, free shipping. I bought 150 and plan to etch them with our initials and date, fill them with tulle and jelly beans, and tie with thank-you ribbon as a final favor.

That's all I've really figured out for now, but it's a good start, right?