moving right along

Posted Wednesday, January 14, 2009 1:48 PM

I'm really pleased with where Erik and I are planning-wise right now! We've got the DJ, photographer, videographer, and caterer all squared away - and with just a few changes to make on the menu, I've already crossed reception food off my list. Now I'm working with the caterer on a proposal for the post-reception barbeque... which is causing a few problems. My mom and dad originally wanted to host the after-party as an alternative to the Sunday brunch, and so that out-of town guests would have something to do on Saturday night (the reception closes to guests at 4PM). They seemed to assume that this would be a piece of cake... grill a few burgers, mix a few drinks, and voila, right? Not so much. Another point of contention: my mom wants to invite the entire wedding, while my father thinks that only "family and friends" should be invited. (And though I understand his point of view -how are they going to fit that many people at their house/in their backyard?- I also wonder who he thinks made the guest list without fitting into one of those two categories.)

We've locked into the TexMex theme - the menu includes some sausage, quesadillas, really yummy chicken-puff-pastry things - and my dad's bought an entire case of tequila - "The good kind" - for the passed margaritas during cocktail hour. (My dad has put himself in charge of liquor, much to my dismay - he's not the frugal type, so he's not likely to look for deals/rebates/bulk discounts as I would. Though I'm fortunate enough to have a rather flexible budget, I'd kinda made it my goal to stay within the original dollar amount, and $2000 -so far- in booze is making that a pretty tough job.)

I sent out my first "communique" to my bridesmaids - introducing everyone, giving them a general idea of the wedding, providing them with information on what I'd like them to wear (anything they want -shorts, vest, dress, pants, whatever- in an ivory/beige/tan/brown palette) and what the groomsmen will be wearing (khakis and button-downs), and telling them about the tentative schedule so that they can make travel arrangements/take off work as needed. Much to my chagrin, I haven't gotten a single response... not even a "thanks for the info." I don't consider myself a very tough person to work with, I took pains to make the email friendly, fun, and informal, and these are my best friends, so to be honest: I'm a little offended. Added to that frustration is the fact that the two local bridesmaids who used to be best friends are now feuding (for no one reason, but lots of little ones - it's not petty, and therefore not easy to solve). Luckily for me (and them, I guess... but mostly me), I'm not really counting on them to do much - they're so spread out and busy with their own lives - so I don't think it'll prove to be a huge problem in the long run.

That said, I did call in my first "please help me" favor to the one bridesmaid who knows what she's doing (she's been in a couple weddings already and has just been incredible!) - we spent about three hours last weekend painstakingly taping, tying, and sewing 100 save-the-dates. They look great and I can't wait to send them out!

In preparation for mailing the save-the-dates, Erik and I started our registry at Macy's on Saturday. Long story short - we had tons of fun, but spent a record number of hours at the mall and were positively EXHAUSTED afterwards. I, The Girl Who Swore She Would Never Register for China, promptly fell in love with a $150/place setting set (Noritake Silver Palace). It's the single most gorgeous design I've ever seen, I want it so so so so much... but the look that Erik gave me paired with my mom's advice ("Amy, seriously, I used my china once.") convinced me that I could probably do better by my guests to register for something a little more affordable. I decided on Mikasa Parchment ($58/place setting), which is basically the same thing with a slightly wider band and no raised dots. I won't even remember this "crisis" by the time my wedding rolls around, and the Mikasa set is just as pretty - plus it's dishwasher safe and I'm so much more likely to use it. We also registered for a whole bunch of plain white dish-, serve- and cook-ware - none of the frou-frou matching pieces of china. Then I spent most of Monday at work (seriously, I've hardly been able to work this week... it's getting bad! I think taking the holidays off thinking about the wedding got to me.) setting up our Crate and Barrel and Target registries... then spent Tuesday undoing a lot of the stuff. Like: no, Amy, you don't need a bamboo tea box, even if you did register for a really pretty teapot. And: yes, having a pretty set of patterned serving dishes would be nice, but let's not get carried away - you already registered for plenty at Macy's.

Overall registry thoughts:
1) It's ridiculous that Macy's tells you to have ~20% of your gifts in the >$150 range.
2) After looking through other couples' registries, I wonder how many people actually buy off the list.
3) I feel kinda bad for putting the most expensive set of Calphalon cookware on (goodness knows I don't expect to get it!) but I figure with the 20% off completion bonus makes looking chintzy worthwhile.