[ugh] tradition.

Posted Wednesday, July 08, 2009 2:41 PM

Anyone who's seen me plan this wedding knows that I'm not the most traditional bride-to-be. Yes: my dress is white and I want to carry roses. But no: I don't care what my bridesmaids wear, the groomsmen don't need to be in tuxes... and I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle.

This first came up when I made an eleventh-hour addition to the wedding party: my friend Sara, who had originally declined a bridesmaid title but recently opted in (much to my delight!). Since we now have uneven numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I tried to figure out in what order everyone should walk down the aisle... Have the best man start at the front with Erik and then have same-sex pairs? (The boys might not like that.) End with a trio? (Aisle might not be wide enough.) Have Erik's brother step in just for the walk? (Meh.) Girl-boy-girl-boy singles? (That could work.)

But then what about everyone else? A quick Google search taught me a good amount... but after scribbling down a few options, I realized that the only person lacking an escort during the "honorary guest seating" would be my mom, and that hardly seemed right. So mom and dad would walk together, and I would walk alone. Ooh, I liked the sound of that! Besides, what's up with all this "giving away" crap anyways? For the past nine years, I've done everything in my power to gain as much physical and monetary independence from my parents as possible. And aside from two years of school (and this wedding), I've done a pretty good job (if I do say so myself). Our emotional relationship? Not the tightest: I grew up fast, 'nuf said.

Much to my chagrin, good ol' dad didn't take too kindly to this news. His reaction was halfway between speechless and hysterical - "Wha... bu... no! I have to walk you down the aisle!" He might have even cried a little, and really - I'm not completely heartless. So for the sake of tradition (and of course his feelings), I'll pretend that I'm daddy's little girl and need him to pass the proverbial torch on over to Erik on our wedding day.

Thus the show goes on...

A month out, we had our walkthrough with the caterer. After working out all the whats and wheres, Chef started asking me about the cupcakes. What kind? Icing or buttercream? Frosted or piped? Topped or plain? At first I thought he was genuinely interested... then I realized he was quizzing me! After answering all of his questions and explaining that I'd already done a test-run of 130 for work, he was put at ease and trusts that there won't be any frantic Friday-evening calls requesting a wedding cake.

My mom visited Potomac Floral the other day to start getting ideas for our arrangements. We both really liked the look of freesia and mocked up a vase with a few bunches - but after two days the entire house stank to high heaven. Bells of Ireland are a top contender for the boutonniers, off-white roses for the bouquets, and beargrass with ivory and yellow roses for the centerpieces. It'll be a stressful few days trying to pull everything together, but the savings will (hopefully) be worth it.

Speaking of money... we're officially over budget. From top to bottom, we'll end up spending just under $22,000. Eeks! Little miss cheapo broke the bank? Yeah, maybe... but factoring out the cost of the rings and gifts (huge splurges that Erik and I paid for personally) puts us right on the cusp - and still technically under mom & dad's 20 grand limit, so I don't feel too horrible.

The expense that really put us over was transportation. A word to the wise: never wait until the last minute to check with your hotel about whether or not they'll be able to provide a guest shuttle... or anything else, for that matter.

[Sidebar: We booked our blocks with the Washington DC/Rockville Hilton. Erik's parents also chose to host a Friday evening cocktail meet-and-greet at and catered by the hotel. Despite the party and 25+ rooms booked, we were denied any complementary service - the shuttle would cost $5pp each way (<2 miles), a hotel room for Erik and me would start at $135 (pre-tax). Period. Apparently, we didn't qualify for the free room since our guests hadn't booked 50. I mouthed off to the manager (in a pseudo-professional email, natch), and after some cajoling (read: threats to warn other brides about their hotel), we were promised a comped room. Though there's not yet enough information about their services for me to give them a final vendor review, I must give a nod to the staff for keeping me happy.]

Since we obviously needed another shuttle option, I threw a few RFQs out into the craigslist microcosm and eventually found a private vendor named Lance who will be providing his transportation services and 15-passenger van from 11:30AM-10:00PM for all of our guests for about $600. That looks like a lot on paper, but everyone's in agreement that the piece of mind this service brings will be well worth the cost. We even ordered a pair of door magnets from Vista Print (great quality, $10 all told, and shipped in a jiff) to make him look a little more legit!

Lastly, I found a few more awesome bridal party gifts at Fred Flare - thanks Erin for the tip! (Hint: check out www.retailmenot.com for a 35% off coupon code.)  Highly recommended if you're in the market for fun products and amazing customer service.