Make sure you know who is setting exactly everything up! Even with a DOC and a coordinator at the reception site, our ceremony chairs ended up being set up at the VERY last minute by MOB and MIL.
In that same regard, make sure you know where stuff is going at the end of the night. There was stuff that I thought about on our honeymoon that I realized we didn't know where it went, if it was safe, etc (stuff like our borrowed serving set, etc). Also, I think there was some cake left, but I didn't tell anyone I wanted it and then all of a sudden we were leaving and I had forgot about it. Back in the room, and the next day on the plane, I wanted some cake! So, make sure you are vocal about stuff like that because sometimes packing up a wedding can be just as chaotic as putting it together.
People who are normally on time may not be! MOB held up the RD and MIL held up the wedding. Both women are normally GREAT at being on time, but not those days
Find a DOC you trust. My DOC did A LOT, including meeting and emailing and talking with me quite a lot, especially in the weeks before the wedding. I had hired and fired someone previous to her because I just didn’t feel that we fit. I loved my DOC, I trusted her completely and I think that is the most important thing. I knew that she had my best interests at heart.
Don’t skimp on the photography! I know that everyone has that one thing about the wedding that is most important, and for me it was photography. I splurged on our photographer a bit, but we could still afford it, and I am so happy that I didn’t settle. It was a bit chaotic because we picked someone from out of state who needed to fly in, but I am so glad that we chose who we did. Everyone tried to tell me that after the first week, I wouldn't care about our pictures, etc. Well, over 4 months later I am still enthralled by them and it hasn't wavered a bit, so definitely make up your own mind about what is truly important to you and your fiance and stick with it!
You can always negotiate: Do not overlook the fact that as bay area brides we live in such a gorgeous place that photographers from other areas of the country would love to shoot and build their portfolios. The photographer that we chose was the most expensive originally and offered the least amount of “stuff”, so even though I loved his work, I discounted him after finding out his pricing. Right as we were about to go with someone else, I received an email from him, asking if we were still considering him. I told him honestly, that while he was our favorite, he was offering the least for the most money. He ended up adding hours, prints, lowering his travel fee, etc and it made the deal great for us.
Feel free to mix and match. Our venue wanted to charge $5/person for a champagne toast and while I really wanted to serve champagne (because I love it!), I was NOT going to pay that on top of our open bar of wines, beer, signature cocktails, etc. Instead of offering 4 wines, I decided to offer 3 wines and a champagne choice. The venue was fine with that and I got unlimited champagne for the whole event time without having to pay additional.
Look outside of the cookie cutter bay area locations. We were married in the Point Reyes National Seashore, with the ceremony at a local park and the reception on the outdoor patio of a local restaurant. It was a 2-3 hour drive for our guests and many ended up staying overnight for one or two nights. It is a great escape from the bay area without going too far, and as gorgeous as it is, everything is a lot less expensive too! Just getting away from SF decreased competition for locations and vendors and lowered the prices as well.
Give the BMs their dresses before the wedding. It sounds simple, but my mom had both of the dresses in her room at the hotel because she was doing some last minute sash adjustments or something, and she went MIA (dealing with the ceremony chairs, we later found out) an hour before the ceremony. We couldn’t get into her room, and I was dressed while my BMs couldn’t even get to their dresses. We wanted to leave for the ceremony 30 minutes prior, but my mom didn’t even show up until about 25 minutes prior. Thankfully, the dresses were simple to get on and the girls were all ready otherwise, but we could have been very late, and it was an unnecessary last minute stress.
Craigslist is your friend! As you can read above, I found many great vendors through searching on Craigslist's community and services sections. It is a great resource.
Vendor Reviews
Photographer- Tim WilloughbyI loved Tim’s style from the first time I found his website through WPJA.com. I originally contacted him 9 months before the wedding, right after we chose a date and location. He worked with us to build a customized package including travel (he lives out of state) that worked perfectly for our needs. There was one hiccup a week before (please contact me for details) that made us a bit nervous, but once he arrived I knew that we had made the right decision. He made us feel comfortable and got along great with everyone. I absolutely love our pictures! He was great to work with and given the choice, I would choose Tim again. We had some trouble getting our hi-res pictures from him in a timely manner, but once they arrived, they were fantastic and there are no hard feelings. If we were in a big rush, I'm sure we could have received them sooner (as was stated in our contract), but Tim got married very shortly after us, so I cut him some slack because I know what he's going through!
Officiant- Anthony Martin I found Anthony through Craigslist about 3 months before the wedding. I had interviewed several officiants and always found something wrong with them. Call me picky, but someone with a high pitched voice or crazy pictures on their website did not make the cut. Although we are not religious, the ceremony was very important for both of us and we wanted to fine the right person. We drove to Santa Rosa to meet with Anthony and signed the contract. He was great to work with and great on the day of. We liked him a lot.
Day of Coordinator- Michelle Roushar, Browning and Barrett Fine Events I was SO happy to find Michelle about 4 months before the wedding. My previous coordinator (contact me if you want any information about who that was, but she is not very well known) was a big disappointment and I began interviewing people right away. I found a few people on Craigslist and did in person interviews. I liked all of them, but I really clicked with Michelle. Because they are just starting up, I got a very, very good rate for day of coordination and also help with some planning stuff. Michelle was the person I went to with every question, big and small, and she was always so helpful. I always felt like she had our best interests at heart and would make it work no matter what. The only issue we had was in the week before the wedding when rain was predicted. The restaurant wanted us to tent and we said no. Michelle was having some difficulty standing up to the restaurant I think, but it was a difficult situation for everyone. FMIL ended up giving the restaurant a piece of her mind and they stopped harassing us about the tent, but it was pretty stressful in the beginning. I would definitely recommend Michelle, she was great to work with and a great person, always keeping me positive.
Printers- Out of the Envelope The first time I went into Out of the Envelope, I felt ignored by the teenage sales girls. It was difficult to get the questions I had answered, but they were recommended by Michelle and conveniently located near my job. Thankfully, that first time was a fluke. Everything went smoothly with the invitation designer sending in the designs, the paper selection, the test approval. Summer helped me out and she was great. She caught a mistake that one of her coworkers was about to make that would have really set us back on timing. She was definitely on top of it! The invitations looked great and I loved working with Out of the Envelope. They have periodic sales mentioned on their website (we got a discount for ordering them in July, I think) that you mention in store.
Additional Invitation Supplies- Paper Source, Santana Row I LOVE Paper Source, and I am so happy they put in a south bay location. I ordered the inner and outer envelopes and everything went really smoothly. I also purchased a cutout stamp and pens for the invitations. Everyone was helpful and knowledgeable.
Travel Agent- Scandia Travel, Michael (415) 552-5300 I found a recommendation for Scandia travel through the Berkeley Parents Network (they surprisingly have lots of good, although older recommendations for wedding locations, etc) when I googled Travel Agent SF or something like that. Micheal at Scandia was GREAT! He got us a terrific rate on our flight into Paris and out of Zurich, and he put up with my many questions I had throughout the process. I would definitely use them again.
Florist- Flowers by Atalanta I think my mom found Atalanta about a week before the wedding, seriously! FMIL was taking care of our reception flowers (she got them through the SF FlowerMart) and I was originally planning on doing the bouquets by myself (we chose not to do bouts for the guys) but realized at the last minute that I had absolutely no time left. Atalanta was able to fit us in, was reasonable, and I LOVED my bouquet. We ended up forgetting the bouquets in the hotel room so we didn't have them for the ceremony, but they made the to our pictures before the wedding and to the reception. I would recommend Atalanta.
Invitation Design- Huckleberry Karen Designs Karen is a fellow knottie on my local board who started getting into invitation and floral design before my wedding. I contacted her originally for a floral quote before FMIL let me know she would do the flowers. Later, when I was getting ready to do our invitations and was having difficulty, I remembered Karen and contacted her. She was great to work with! Reasonable pricing, great ideas, always easy to communicate with. I loved our invitations, thanks to her wonderful design she created for us.
Cake- Gayle's Bakery We have frequently visited Gayle's and we've loved everything we have ever tried there. When it came time to find a cake, I was shocked at how much it was per slice (or how high minimums were because we didn't need that large of a cake) in the Bay Area for a simple cake. A light bulb went off when we went to Gayle's one afternoon and saw that they make wedding cakes. It definitely was an endeavor to pick up the cake and drive it the three hours to the wedding site, but that's what younger brothers are for, I think! Everything turned out great, we loved the cake, and it didn't cost us a fortune.
Favors- Daffy Apples I always wanted to have caramel apples for our favors, because they are one of my favorite things ever and I thought that it would be fun. I had given up hope after seeing Rocky Mountain's pricing (about $4+ an apple), but found Daffy Apples about a month before the wedding. Their website said that they did not ship apples out until October (if I remember correctly), but I called and they made an exception because we do not live in a very warm climate where they will melt during transit. They arrived and with the help of FI and FMIL, we packaged them in cellophane bags and tied them with green ribbon. Simple and delicious, they ended up being about $1 each.
DJ- AJ I liked AJ because we were able to give him a big list of stuff that we like, and don't like. On the day of the wedding, he set up on time. He was dressed more casually than people with a more formal wedding would have liked, but it didn't bother me, and he wasn't ever out from behind his booth anyway. I did not anticipate my guests dancing, but geez, did they dance like I've never seen them do before! Some people told me that he was having difficulty keeping up with their high energy song requests, and I think part of that has to do with me telling him people probably wouldn't dance and therefore he wasn't prepared for it. He wasn't the best DJ in the bay, but it wasn't a big priority for us and I think everyone still had a great time.
Ceremony: Vista Point at Tomales Bay State Park This location is not for everyone, as it is on the smaller side and on a bit of a sloped hill, but it was our dream location. We loved the more casual feel and the gorgeous view of Tomales Bay. The special events dept at the State Park were surprisingly easy and great to work with, and I am so happy that we chose this location.
Reception: The Station House Café We definitely had a love/hate relationship with this place. The food was great and I loved the atmosphere, but they put us through many stressful situations, from requiring we pay for their DOC when we already had one and then telling us a week before the wedding she wouldn't be present, arguing with us over the decision to not tent the reception, discrepancies and confusion with menu choices/per person pricing, to handing us the bill directly in the middle of our reception, etc.. If anyone is interested in this restaurant for a reception, I can go into greater detail, but I would not recommend them.