I am now running the Sheath_Bio. Email me at Sophi.the.bride at gmail.com or page me on the dress board if you would like to be added!

Having a blue wedding? Be sure to check out the Blue Bio

If you are interested in a hand-made veil, email me at the address above.

Click here to view my planning bio

Alli and Nate

July 23rd, 2005

Pre-Ceremony

All photos are by Mitch Casey

Chaos in the bathroom

Putting on my earrings. It took me months to find the "perfect" pair,
and they ended up costing $3.90 at H&M. Sweet.

Visiting with Caesar before getting dressed.

My dad can sleep through anything

I had to switch shoes the day before the wedding, but these worked out.
They were completely destroyed by the end of the night,
so it really didn't matter that I wasn't a huge fan of them.

For some reason, my brother was wandering around with a beer and a can of shaving cream.

My sister helping me with my veil.

Making adjustments

Wow, I'm really looking like a bride.

Seeing Nate for the first time. This was such a great moment.

Awww.

This is sort of a cheesy shot, but I really wanted a picture of all this stuff. The bracelet was my birthday gift from Nate (Tiffany "Love Knot" - since we were about to "tie the knot" - awwww), my great-grandmother's wedding band (which my paternal grandmother left to me) was my something old, and the pin in my bouquet was my someting borrowed (my maternal grandfather gave it to my grandmother before they were married). None of my grandparents are still alive, so carrying something from each was really special for me.

My sister (lovely and quite pregnant), and my mom.

Heading off to take pictures at the park

Nate's family has a long-standing flamingo joke.
This mysterious package that was left on the gazebo was a flamingo votive holder. The perp has yet to confess.

A few pictures that we got before everyone else arrived at the park.
I loved having time with just the two of us and the photographer.

Formal of the wedding party and both families

My favorite of our formals (I'm not a big fan of formals)

Nate and his attendants stayed at the park to greet guests as they arrived.
I hid with my bridesmaids at my parent's house.

Guests arriving! This one shows the setup of the chairs.
There was a fan, a program, and a cone of petals on each. I know that knotties like to see these things.
You can also see our aisle arrangements, which were DIY hydrangea and rose bouquets.

Our trio was fantastic

My parents and I rode to the ceremony in a '59 Ford.

The Ceremony

The officiant leading Nate's attendants (His cousin Geoff
and his best friend Maria) down the aisle.

I really wish I had remembered to put out a "no parking"
sign so that car wouldn't be in the background of these pictures

Nate's best man (his uncle Tom), seating his grandmother

Nate seating his mom

My brother seating my mom

My new sister-in-law, Katie

My brother's long-time girlfriend, Kate

My best friend for the past 19 years, Torri

My sister, Tina

Here comes the bride, about to burst into tears

Dad, me, and my ridiculously overpriced bouquet.

I don't think that these ceremony pics really need captions, and I'm lazy

The petal toss was a great touch, though I ended up with petals down my dress

My favorite picture

We're married!

The Reception

Waiting for everyone to get into the reception site so that we could make our entrance

The beautiful reception hall

The cake table. The cake wasn't exactly what we talked about, but it was cute anyway
(you can just barely see our monogrammed runner in the corner)

I love this shot of Nate's parents

Stealing a kiss during dinner

I have no idea what was going on here,
but I just had to include it. Sassy.

An adorable picture of Nate's aunt, uncle, and baby cousin

Our first dance. The glow wasn't added by photoshop, it was
just the way our photographer caught the light

Dancing with my dad. He's a much better dancer than I.

Nate serenaded his mom

Everyone loved our DIY DJing, and the dance floor was packed all night
(we used a laptop and iTunes).

Cutting the cake

We were nice, but no one brought us a plate, so we ended up smashing cake all over the floor.

Some favorite non-pro pictures

Ceremony chairs all set up and ready for guests. Everything was exactly the way I wanted it - simple, natural, and pretty.

Heading off to take some photos by the river (I think this was the point where I completely coated my shoes in mud)

I love this shot of Nate's uncle, sister, and cousin

My sister is a champ - five months pregnant and she spent the day in heels

Nate and his dad greeting guests

Waiting at my parents' house for the ceremony to start. Yes, I am waving at my armpits in an attempt to dry them. I'm a classy lady.

Friends enjoying our programs that took wayyyyyy too much effort to make

After the ceremony - in total shock

The reception site before anyone arrived. You can kind of see the centerpieces. I collected antique blue glass before the wedding, and grouped pieces together on each table. Every table had at least one vase of delphiniums. The other pieces of glass held candles, floating gardenias, lemons, or tangerines. I love how it turned out.

Dancing with dad

Nate and his sister did an impromptu routinue to "She Drives Me Crazy"

Great one of my brother and his girlfriend

Torri's husband is in the Navy and was out to sea for the wedding, so we slow-danced together

This one has been lovingly dubbed, "Isn't this wine good stuff?" The bluriness really makes the picture.

The wine was really flowing by this point.

Judging from the horrible state of my hair, this was our last slow dance, "I Found a Reason," by The Velvet Underground (a line from which is engraved in our rings). I just love the way Nate is looking at me here.

Some thoughts - what worked for us, what didn't

Photojournalistic Photography
We decided early on that we wanted photojournalistic pictures. Unfortunately, we were married in a small town and all of the local wedding photographers have techniques that favor "soft-touch" hearts superimposed over photos of the bride and groom. We would have had to import a photojournalistic wedding photographer from several hours away, and our $6000 budget didn't have room for their prices, much less their travel expenses. We finally decided to ask a local photojournalist, Mitch Casey, if he would be willing to take our pictures. He doesn't usually do weddings, but he and my mom have worked for the same newspaper for over ten years, so he said he was happy to do it. His price - $500. We have to make our own albums (he gave us all of the pictures, so we own them all), but considering the price we paid for the pictures we got, I'm more than happy to do it. So my biggest wedding tip is, if you want photojournalistic pictures, hire a photojournalist! It was definitely the best decision we made.

Mitch hard at work

Taking Pictures Before the Ceremony
I know this is a decision that many brides struggle with, and I was once one of them. Like many of us, I had the mental picture of an incredible moment of revealing myself in all of my bridal finery. When Nate and I actually sat down to make our decision on pictures, he only had to say one thing to make me change my mind completely and never look back. I explained why I didn't want to see each other first, and he looked at me like I was totally insane. Then he told me that for him, the anticipation of that moment has nothing to do with seeing me as a bride for the first time. The emotion will come from the fact that I am choosing to walk down the aisle to become his wife. It made so much sense that I felt like smacking myself on the forehead. The wedding day proved that he was right (of course). When we got to our hotel room after the reception, he told me that he was so overwhelmed when he saw me at the end of the aisle that he thought he was going to have to sit down on the gazebo. In all of my "bridal finery" daydreams, I never expected my reserved, rational, and totally self-controlled husband to have that kind of a reaction. In the end, doing our pictures first made the day even more special, as well as much more fun and relaxed.

DIY Reception Music
As a rule, I can't stand DJs. They seem to be in a contest to see who can be the cheesiest (I went to a wedding last year where the DJs assistant played a tambourine along with the music. *Shudder*). We would have loved live music, but we didn't have the space or the money for a band. We ended up using a laptop and iTunes as our DJ. It worked perfectly. We were able to play music that we knew our guests would dance to, and we worked in songs that had special meanings to certain guests. I can't even count how many people told us that we had the best wedding music they had ever heard. It was also incredibly easy to set up - we just hooked the laptop into the reception hall's sound system and had Nate's cousin start the dinner playlist, the special dance songs, and the dance playlist. I highly recommend skipping the DJ and doing the music yourself.

I know I found looking at other playlists very helpful while I was planning, so here is ours:

Bride and Groom: "Here, There, Everywhere" - The Beatles
Bride and Dad: "God Only Knows" - The Beach Boys
Groom and Mom: "What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong

"Video Killed the Radio Star" - The Buggles
"Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da" - The Beatles
"I Would Walk 500 Miles" - The Proclaimers
"I Melt with You" - Modern English
"Hotel Yorba" - The White Stripes
"Build Me Up, Buttercup" - The Four Tops
"Something" - The Beatles
"Blueberry Hill" - Louis Armstrong
"Modern Love" - David Bowie
"Rock the Casbah" - The Clash
"You Never Can Tell" - Chuck Berry
"You Spin Me Round" - Dead or Alive
"Kung Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
"Man in Me" - Bob Dylan
"She" - Elvis Costello
"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
"Mint Car" - The Cure
"Danger! Danger! (High Voltage) - Electric Six featuring Jack White
"Whip It" - Devo
"Cosmic Girl" - Jamiroquai
"Hungry Like the Wolf" - Duran Duran
"The Only Living Boy in New York" - Simon and Garfunkel
"I Got You (I Feel Good)" - James Brown
"It's Raining Men" - The Weather Girls
"Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats
"She Drives Me Crazy" - Fine Young Cannibals
"Sugar Sugar" - The Archies
"I Believe (When I Fall in Love with You, It Will Be Forever)" - Stevie Wonder
"Float On" - Modest Mouse
"Twist and Shout" - The Beatles
"It's the End of the World as We Know It" - REM
"Magic Dance" - David Bowie [Labyrinth Soundtrack]
"Brown Eyed Girl" - Van Morrison
"Tiny Dancer" - Elton John
"Jenny" - Stellastarr*
"Blister in the Sun" - The Violent Femmes
"Yatta!" - Happy Tai
"Higher Ground" - The Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Turning Japanese" - The Tubes
"I Found a Reason" - The Velvet Underground
"Jungle Boogie" - Kool and the Gang

Did not end up using, but planned:
"White Wedding" - Billy Idol
"Tank!" - Yoko Kanno [Cowboy Bebop Theme]
"Hey Ya!" - Outkast
"Cecilia" - Simon and Garfunkel
"Man, it's So Loud in Here" - They Might Be Giants
"Buddy Holly" - Weezer
"Lust for Life" - Iggy Pop
"Intergalactic" - The Beastie Boys

DIY Flowers
My jury is still out on whether or not this was a good idea. When the casket-sized box of flowers arrived on Thursday and I spent half the day cutting stems, stripping leaves, and filling buckets with flowers, I was miserable and convinced that nothing would turn out well. The actual arranging wasn't nearly as difficult as I had imagined it would be (I really enjoyed it), but I was stressed about asking people to transport the flowers and set them up on the wedding day (I hate asking people to do work for me). The flowers ended up looking great and we had far more than we would have been able to afford otherwise, but it was a lot of work and stress right before the wedding. I did have my bouquet made by a florist, as I knew that was one thing I didn't want messed up. I liked it, but I'm sure I could have made the same thing for about a tenth of what the florist charged. If I was doing this all over again, I can't decide if I would go with a florist or not. This indecision has nothing to do with our vendor, Freshroses.com. Their customer-service was fabulous and their flowers were beautiful. If you are up to the challenge of DIY, you won't go wrong by choosing them.

Flowers looking lovely at the brunch on Sunday

DIY Makeup
I couldn't even find a makeup artist in the town where we were married, and I was scared that any I did find would make me look like a prom queen circa 1993. I decided to do my own makeup, but since I almost never wear it day-to-day, I needed some help. I went to Sephora for a consultation, and my fabulous consultant spent 2 hours discussing colors, recommending products, and showing me how to use them. I was worried about doing it myself, but I practiced a few times before the wedding, and I ended up loving how it looked. I spent more than I would have on a makeup artist, but I love all of the products I got. Shockingly, I've liked everything so much that anti-makeup me has started wearing small amounts fairly regularly. I give Sephora and DIY makeup a big nod of approval.

Note that my hair was already falling out

How I Found my Dressmaker

First, look up "dressmaker" and "seamstress" in your phone book. Write down every listing. Then get on citysearch.com, and search for "dressmaker" in all of the cities to which you would be willing to drive for fittings. Add those to your list.

Next, go down the list and call each one. Ask their starting price (most will have a price they start from for wedding gowns, which goes up depending on your design). If it's out of your budget, cross them off. If it's in your budget, ask their method. I looked for someone who was also a patternmaker (so they could work from a design that I had come up with), and who made a muslin version of the dress before cutting any of my fabric (so I new what I was getting and could easily make changes along the way). I also looked for someone who had fabrics to choose from, because I didn't want to worry about finding fabric on my own, but that was a personal preference.

After you've made all of your calls, choose your top three. Schedule consultations with each. These should be free. At the consultation, you can tell the dressmaker about your design, and he/she can make sketches, talk about fabrics, and give you a quote and a list of references. After that, just call the references and make your final choice.

It's an involved process, but it worked well for me.

Budget Breakdown – for all of you budget brides!

I will be honest here. We were able to stay within a reasonable budget for two reasons. Reason 1: we got married in a very small town where things are cheap. Reason 2: we got unbelievably lucky. Even so, hopefully some of our ideas will help others. Our total budget fell a bit over $6000.

Attire

Brides Attire: From early in my search, I was looking for something very specific. I wanted a sheath, straps, buttons, silk, and possibly a sash. Unfortunately, the only dresses I could find that I liked were in the several thousand dollar range. As an act of desperation, I looked into having my dress made. I ended up working with an incredibly talented dressmaker who tweaked my design and made my dream dress for only $625 (I haggled quite a bit on this one)! I had my doubts during the process (some of you who frequented the dress board in the winter of 2004/2005 might remember them…), but I loved, loved, loved (yes, that’s the official “3 love seal of approval”) my dress in the end. Total cost: $625

Bride’s Accessories: All of my jewelry was given to me as gifts from various people, with the exception of my earrings. As stated above, those were $3.90 – score! I made my veil myself for about $20. If you’d like directions or to have one made made for you, email me at the address above. I got my original shoes on sale at Nine West for $50, but those were accidentally dyed the wrong (very dark) color two days before the wedding. The bridal shop gave me a similar pair (correctly dyed) and re-dyed the original shoes black. So it all worked out okay in the end, and I got a free pair of shoes out of the deal. I already owned the underthings that I wore. I guess I’m not sentimental about undies. Total cost: ~$75

Getting ready to see Nate!

Groom’s Attire: This is a tough category. In all, we spent about as much on my husband’s attire as we did on my own ($400 for the suit, $200 for the shoes –Nate is a regular Carrie Bradshaw about shoes). Luckily, his parents bought it all as a very generous gift. He also wears both the suit and shoes regularly for work, so it’s not a “toss away” wedding expense. For the sake of preserving the budget, I leave this one out of the final count (yes, I’m a dirty cheater).

Stylish and adorable. *dreamy sigh*

Ceremony

Site Rental: $25 to rent a local park for the entire day. Huzzah for small towns! The setting meant a lot to me. I played at that gazebo as a kid, ate lunch there with my friends during high school, and studied there during breaks at college. I loved how it looked for the wedding. It was so leafy and sunny with the river running in the background…perfect. Total cost: $25

Other Rentals: We got our chairs for $0.60 a piece, including set up and tear down (that was an extra $50, but I haggled to have it waived). My best advice here is to shop around. This price was at the last place I called, and the next cheapest was $1.10 a piece, without setup. Of course, they did set up the chairs incorrectly on the day of, but it only took Nate and a few of his friends about five minutes to fix them. We ended up renting a tent from the same company, because my mom panicked about rain two days before. Although I didn’t want a tent, I consented for my mental state. That was $250 which I leave out of the actual budget because my mom paid for it and it was also set up incorrectly so we didn’t really use it (honestly, did they think the ceremony was happening on the side of the gazebo??? It was very confusing). Total cost: $60

I think this picture says it all. Too bad I don't have one of the original chair set-up; that was *really* weird.

Flowers: DIY from Freshroses.com. See above for my very-conflicted thoughts on this. The flowers were gorgeous, and we did have lots of them, so I suppose it was worth it in the end. Total cost: $600

Music: A splurge, I admit. I’ve always wanted strings at my wedding, and Nate is a former musician and was very critical of the non-pro groups we heard. We ended up hiring the Magnolia Music Ensemble, who play for the Charleston Symphony in Charleston, WV. Their normal price for a trio is $650 but I talked them down to $500 AND got them to waive their travel fee (it’s a two hour trip). They were amazing, and I’m so glad that we splurged on them. They gave our informal ceremony a very elegant feel.

Officiant: My childhood pastor, Carl, who has since been replaced by another (which is normal for Methodist churches). We were supposed to have the new pastor marry us, but sadly he had a family emergency and had to turn it over the week before the wedding. Carl insisted on not taking money, so we sent he and his wife a gift certificate to a great restaurant.

He was so happy for us! (on an unrelated note, my sister calls this the "romantic ass-grab" shot)

Favors: Since we were outside in July, we provided paper fans. They appear to be the exact same ones that you can buy from wedding favor web sites for $1 a piece, but we got them for $3.95 a dozen from Oriental Trading Company (the price has since gone up to $4.95 a dozen). We spent about $0.50 on the embossed tags. Total cost: $36

How demure

Reception

Site Rental: We couldn’t find any reception locations that we liked, until we walked into ours and fell instantly in love. It is the ballroom at the local college, and is absolutely gorgeous (the pictures do not do it justice). The rental fee of $400 included everything – tables, chairs, all plates/glasses/silverware/etc, and even centerpieces (though we chose to use our own). We also had the use of a lounge off of the ballroom, which provided a great place for the non-dancers to gather. Total cost: $400

You gotta love stained glass...yes, you! I demand it!

Food: Our biggest piece of luck. We were allowed to use any caterer with our reception site, but we decided to talk to the college caterer, Walter, first (it just seemed easiest). We instantly liked him. He was very young, but had recently graduated from the same chef’s college that Nate’s dad attended. Nate is a major foodie (it comes from having a chef as a dad), and he and Walter got very excited talking about menus and such. We were afraid that we would have to compromise food quality because of our budget, but Walter was amazing! He designed an incredible menu with four entrée choices (for a seated meal), and worked it out so that the most expensive option was only $17. Yes, I love Walter only slightly less than I love my husband. Total cost for dinner (including 18% gratuity) ~$2100

Drinks: At the advice of Walter, we brought in our own drinks. We provided a variety of sodas, beers, and red and white wine. We had a bottle of each wine on the tables when guests arrived, and the rest of the drinks in the lounge. Walter’s servers arranged them very nicely in galvanized buckets, and it looked much classier than I thought it would. By the end of the night, our 100 guests drank 42 BOTTLES of wine. Needless to say, we had fun. Total cost: $500

We don't need hard liquor to dance like fools!

Cake: There are two local cake ladies, they both charge a dollar a slice. Neither are fabulous, so we arbitrarily picked one. Our cake was a bit “special,” but it was cute and I actually think it fit in with the causal feel of our reception. I’m told it was delicious, though I only had one bite and I don’t remember what it tasted like. Total Cost: $100

Décor: This is a tough one to work out. I had some of the glass that we used, and much of it came from gifts. When people heard about the idea, they would find pieces in their house and loan/give them to me for the wedding. We gathered up quite a bit at flea malls and antique stores as well. In the end, we had more than we could use. As a very rough estimate, I’d say we spent about $200 on it. Total cost: ~$200

I thought that there were four candles in there...what happened to the fourth?

Music: DIY DIY DIY! This was the best idea (see above for more raving about it). We also have a post wedding bonus – we made our playlist into CDs which we listen to all the time in the car. It’s a really fun way to reminisce about the wedding. We know, we are total dorks. Total cost: Free!

Other Expenses

Photography: See above! This was the best $500 that we spent.

Transportation: We rented a vintage car for my “grand entrance” for $50. The other bridesmaids came together in my parents’ car, and everyone else just brought their own (since they were all at the park before the guests arrived). Nate and I took our own car to the reception and to the hotel. Total Cost: $50

Getting into a car in a mermaid dress is harder than it looks

Invitations: DIY from Paper-Source (see planning bio for ridiculous amounts of pictures). We started them early so we didn’t stress about putting them together. They were gorgeous and nearly every guest commented on them – they were (by far) the detail that got the most attention. Total cost (including postage) ~$375

Other Paper Products: These were also all DIY from Paper-Source (again, see planning bio). The guest book was the most expensive at $60, plus the cost of envelopes and cards. Everything else was next-to-nothing though, and we used a lot of the left-over invitation supplies. In all, I’d estimate we spent about $125 for the guest book, place cards, programs, reserved signs, card box, and table numbers. Total Cost: ~$125

Grand Total: I think that’s it, so that would make the grand total: ~$6271, a bit over budget, but not bad for a perfect wedding day! Good luck with your budget weddings; I hope this helps!

Tips on Haggling

I have never considered myself a haggler. I am possibly the worst liar on earth, and I always thought that lying and haggling were intrinsically linked. I didn't even think that what I was doing during weddng planning was "haggling" until after the fact. I was simply honest with my vendors. If I couldn't afford someone, I told them that I would love to use them (give specific reasons why you enjoy their work; a bit of flattery never hurts, as long as it is genuine), but I simply couldn't afford it. I always told them the specific amount of money that I was able to spend. Now, I'm not sure if this works in big cities where there are a million brides getting married on a single day (though it's still worth a try), but in a smaller area, vendors know that they are better off working for a bit less than normal than not working at all. Everytime I did this, I found that the vendor was willing to work with me (and I didn't try it with all vendors, only the ones that I honestly couldn't afford). Here are a few expamples of how we worked things out:

Dressmaker: My dress budget was $600. My dressmaker's original quote was over $800. When I told her that I couldn't afford that, she offered me a deal. She would take $100 off her labor fee if I would agree to have my dress made in the winter, which is her slow season. This would allow her to take on another July bride. She usually does fittings up until the week before to make sure that the fit is perfect, but since my weight doesn't fluctuate, she thought I would be safe having the dress made five months early. Then she pulled some strings to find a great deal on my fabric, which brought the price down nearly another $100. The final price was $25 over my budget, but it was definitely worth it.

Ceremony Chairs: When I talked to the rental place, I asked them how many chairs they had avaliable. The told me several thousand. I didn't realize it at the time, but that gave me the upper hand. There is no way that they would rent out all of those chairs in a single weekend. It was better for them to rent out a hundred for a lower price than to leave them sitting in a warehouse that day. When I asked them to waive the set-up and tear-down fee, they didn't even hesitate before saying yes.

Just be honest about your budget and you will be amazed at what people will do to work with you. Now that the wedding is over, I wish I had tried to "haggle" in more places, since I succeded every time I tried.

Some of my favorite budget bios

I have way too many favorite bios to list them all, but here are a few that are very helpful for brides on a budget

BudgetBridesBio: A fabulous resource for brides of all budgets

Kertybird: The original Knot budget bride

Fallingup: A gorgeous barn wedding with great tips for saving money

SimplyBarefoot: A beautiful bride and a groom that reminds me of Cameron from Ferris Bueller. This wedding looks like so much fun

MrsAmazon: Some of the most amazing DIY projects I've ever seen on the Knot

Applecider: A lovely (and brightly colored!) seaside wedding with great budget tips (both general and local)

Carlamell: The first indoor wedding to make my list! Rich fall colors and a helpful budget breakdown

h2ofilter: She had a blue dress - how cool is that!? Plus, she's a fellow archaeologist, blue bride, and budget bride. I think we might be Knottie long-lost twins

Morning-After Brunch

My parents hosted an informal brunch at their house the morning after the wedding, and it was so much fun. We invited everyone by word of mouth and had some food (bagels, breads, muffins, quiche, fruit salad, coffee, and juices) brought in by a local catering company, so it was simple and inexpensive. I loved having the chance to spend more time with guests, and it was great to hear stories about things that I missed the night before. Our friends and family are scattered all over the country, so we really appreciated spending a few extra hours with them. After the brunch, we opened gifts, did laundry, and packed for the honeymoon (we left early the next morning). If you can work it into your schedule, leave this day for yourself. Even if you can't take a whole day, set aside the morning for a brunch. You have the rest of your lives to spend together, but it's likely that you will never have all of your loved ones in one place again. Let your honeymoon wait a few hours; you won't regret it.

Some brunch photos

Opening presents - honestly, could Crate and Barrel use any more packing material?

Harry Potter came out the week before our wedding. I was sad that I didn't have time to read it, so my new sister-in-law bought me a copy for the honeymoon.

Once more, dad is asleep.

Off to Columbus, then off to St. Lucia!

Honeymoon: Ti Kaye Village, St. Lucia

Ti Kaye from the water

Our cottage, Kankannez ("troublemaker")

The whole cottage was decorated with fresh flowers when we arrived.

Our porch, where we spent most of our time

The birds really do make themselves right at home

The view from our cottage. We had an ocean-view room (you can see an ocean-front roof in the picture). I had heard that the views aren't great from ocean-view, but ours was fabulous. It wasn't quite as private as an ocean-front, as we had a path running past the front of our porch, but we rarely saw people on the path so it wasn't a problem.