***
The final summer of junior high. Miss Tomboy meets Mr. Nice Guy and does the unthinkable—she asks him out. Just the beginning of a 11-year long story. Yep, not just high school sweethearts— junior high. On the day of the 10th year, on a post-college graduation jaunt with friends in the City of Sinfully Stingy Slot Machines, Mr. Nice Guy executes an off-the-wall surprise engagement worthy of Friends (in a bungling-Chandler good way). Apparently, tons of couples have fights on the day they are engaged—a fact previously unknown to Miss Tomboy.
The odd couple get hitched under the the dazzling dome of San Francisco City Hall with their parents and siblings present, and promise to celebrate their one-year anniversary with family and friends by marrying in the Church one year from that date. They discover a relatively unknown jewel in the town of Orinda, where they dream of settling down to raise a family and decide to hold their wedding in their future hometown. It's a formal affair, but with a healthy dose of personality, humor, and the love of their friends and family. Miss Tomboy is now Mrs. Nice Guy (or is it Mrs. Nice Tomboy...?).
GALLERY
View Pro Slideshow Here (courtesy of Traci Griffin Photography)
Please do not reuse, alter, or hotlink images.
FAVORITE PHOTOS BY FRIENDS AND FAMILY
The quality of light during an overcast day is amazing.
The guys, minus one best man. Wilke Rodriguez notch lapel 100% wool tuxedoes, with Legacy vest and Euro tie. Groom in Cream with Ivory shirt, Groomsmen in Black vest/tie combo with White shirt.
Our adorable niece. I didn't give her mother any direction on her attire since she already had a flowergirl dress, but it turned out great!
The girls upon receiving their flowers from floral designer extraordinaire, Leanne of Callalily. Bridal gown by Cocoe Voci, faux fur bolero by Zara.
Hiding from the groom, who's standing turned away in the courtyard, using my maid's shawl as I rush to my waiting room.
Our f irst dance as husband and wife.
VENDOR REVIEWS
Ceremony. Santa Maria Catholic Church (Orinda) Highly Recommended $500 site fee, $175 cantor fee, $75 coordinator fee
Santa Maria Catholic Church is the parish for the town of Orinda, which has been a longtime obsession. We decided to get married at Santa Maria as a means of putting down our roots together in a place we'd like to eventually call home. The church holds probably no more than 400 people and therefore is a lot more intimate in scale than most churches where I have attending nuptial Mass, and we found parishoners and staff to be very friendly and welcoming. There were some unusual circumstances surrounding our wedding planning at the church, as their longtime wedding coordinator had gone on an unexplained leave of absence a little less than two months before our wedding. As a result, we worked with Pat Conners, who did a bang-up job of responding to my frenzied e-mails and phone calls. She scanned liturgical music for me to send to my accompanist and led us through our lengthy rehearsal the day before the wedding.
Tip: If you are getting married at Santa Maria Church, be sure to make a sign so guests know to turn left to continue on Santa Maria Way instead of continuing up the hill via Altarinda Road, which is a very common mistake; tying brightly colored balloons to the signpost should suffice.
Officiant. Rev. Fr. Jesus Soriano (Vallejo) Highly Recommended Donation varies (we gave $250)
Father Jess is a longtime family friend, dating back to when my parents and I volunteered at St. Catherine of Siena in Vallejo, so it was natural for us to select him as our officiant. We had little interaction with him during our engagement, but he did take care of the letter to Santa Maria requesting permission to preside at a wedding there. I could have sworn that the homily he delivered at our ceremony was the same one he delivered at our friends' wedding last year, but that doesn't matter... I liked it.
Ceremony Musician. Bill Tennant (Vallejo) Highly Recommended $180
Bill was my childhood piano teacher and it was a joy to have him perform at my wedding. He did extremely well having only one hour before the wedding to practice the liturgical music with the parish cantor. He did mess up on "Here Comes the Bride" as I reached the altar... mostly because he looked up to smile at us, so I forgive him for that.
Reception and Catering. Orinda Country Club (Orinda) Highly Recommended ~$95 per person including $2000 site fee, 5 hour reception, 3 custom hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, 3 main course selections, $15/bottle corkage fee, beer and non-alcoholic drinks.
We wanted photogenic venues (requiring little to no additional decoration) in a central location with plenty of parking. As an architectural history geek, I naturally gravitated towards older buildings. Historic venues with a Spanish Mediterranean look (a nod to a naturally recurrent "Old Hollywood" aesthetic that's unconsiously guiding our choices) aren't as prolific in Northern California versus Southern California, but Orinda has two gems that I haven't seen publicized for many local weddings. I found Orinda Country Club on herecomestheguide.com. Luck would have it that two beautiful and complementary buildings, Santa Maria Catholic Church and Orinda Country Club, would be on adjacent hillsides, in the town where we'd like to settle down and raise a family. Everybody at the reception gushed about how beautiful the country club was and asked how we found it. Even my friends from Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, what I consider the "Holy Land" of California Spanish-Med Revival architectural beauty, were extremely impressed with the reception venue.
The catering manager, Mariann, was a joy to work with and all the details we discussed throughout the whole engagement process were there, even decisions made at the last minute. Her waitstaff is extremely courteous and attentive. She may not return calls or e-mail right away, but she remembers everything.
Wine. BevMo (Orinda) Highly Recommended varies
We were able to return our last unopened bottle of wine three weeks after our wedding with no problem. Overall, prices are great and if you're lucky, your wedding just might happen during their "Buy One, Get One for 5 Cents" sale. I ordered my wine over the phone abou two weeks before the wedding and customer service was amicable and efficient. I got a call when my wine arrived a couple days earlier than anticipated, which was an unexpected (but nice) surprise.
Bakery. Mariegold's Bake Shoppe (Chicago, IL) I can't review family! That's just wrong! :p Gift courtesy of owner
My aunt is the proprietress of this fine Filipino bakery and dining establishment. Although the cake wasn't as magazine perfect as I'd hoped since the fondant cracked in transit (via air as she flew with it from Chicago!), it tasted, as one guest declared, "divine." She also delivered a bevy of traditional Filipino desserts for a dessert table. I synced up with her and her daughter, Cari, throughout the planning process starting in January/February and they were very easy to work with throughout that time.
Photography. Traci Griffin Photography (San Francisco) pending delivery of photos ~$3300
Waiting on photos before delivering judgment :)
Floral Design. Callalily (Castro Valley) Highly Recommended ~$1150
Leanne was a superstar. During my extensive floral designer search, she immediately impressed me by being the first (and one of the only) designers to actually draw examples for me to illustrate her ideas. She was incredibly flexible during the contract negotiation process and responded quickly via e-mail to my contract revisions. She fills in the blanks and did a lot of additional floral work for free, including two boutonnieres for the ring and coin bearers, a back-up boutonniere for the groom (since white orchids bruise easily), and a toss bouquet. Everyone was floored by the quality of the flowers and the level of craftsmanship. She patiently waited until after the ceremony to transport our altarpieces to the country club, where they graced the sweetheart table. Do note that she does not provide trial arrangements, as she says it is difficult to guarantee the exact composition and color of flowers, especially when it's prepared out of season. Rather, have confidence that with the proper source material, she can recreate what's dancing around in your head.
Bonus: She also sent me a complimentary CD of beautiful photos of the flowers taken by her husband.
Tip: Trying to cut costs? Use inexpensive seasonal flowers like dahlias, carnations, sweet peas, or alstromeria. Have your bridesmaids bouquets double as reception decor (and give your girls' arms a break) by displaying their bouquets in vases; the head table, cake table, or entryway are popular uses.
Tip: Don't just tell the florist what flowers you like, but tell her also what flowers you don't like. For example, I didn't want any roses or daises. Leanne, along with a few other floral designers, made a note of that.
Reception Entertainment. Aim2Pleez DJs (Alameda) Highly Recommended $800
Extremely friendly and easy to work with, they immediately got the kind of vibe that we were trying to achieve. We gave them an extremely detailed playlist and they hit all songs on that list. The only awkward moments were when the tempo of the music was changed so the old folks could get on the dance floor and the young ones could get a break, or vice versa, but that's because we didn't have a "Do Not Play" list so guests would feel comfortable requesting whatever they wanted, so a change in tempo was inevitable.
Stationery Design. Myself. Highly Recommended ;) Free!
Designing and crafting your own stationery is not for the faint of heart. I designed and assembled the following:
If you have a clear vision and are confident that you can execute it in a timely manner, it's a worthwhile endeavor. Keep reading for my walkthroughs on my DIY stationery.
Details: Invitation and circle monogram designed in Adobe Illustrator; all other products designed in Microsoft Publisher. Pantone colors: Uncoated 382 (chartreuse) and 7512 (chocolate brown).
Tip: Designing your own invitation in Adobe Illustrator? Once your design is ready, be sure to convert all text into outlines. That way you don't have to give the printer a copy of your font file(s). Always check with your printer for their file preparation requirements. The cost for any corrective work that the shop does could be passed on to you.
Wedding Website. Design by me. Web hosting services by Hostway Recommended Starting from $13.95/month for web hosting
I highly recommend creating a wedding website. We referred our guests to it repeatedly during our engagement in response to the following questions:
I'm also assuming that it's useful for any questions about hotel accomodations, shuttle transportation, pre-wedding events (e.g., rehearsal dinner, BBQ), post-wedding events (e.g., Sunday brunch).
Hostway has been a good service provider for the past couple years. I do find it difficult to upload files via FTP at late hours; their servers seem to choke every so often when I upload stuff at night. Customer service is helpful and their account management site is fairly easy to navigate.
Letterpress Printer. Mercurio Brothers (Berkeley) Highly Recommended $650 for 100 two-color invites + 100 one-color RSVP cards.
Mercurio Brothers is an old-school printshop in South Berkeley. While their website isn't great looking, it is quite informative and has price quotes, file preparation tips, and samples of past work. Soft proofs were e-mailed promptly after I uploaded the initial files during the Christmas holiday. I made changes to the design, sent them new files and got another new set of proofs the same day. The print quality is great. Amazing bang for the buck, provided you have your own design and don't need your hand held throughout the process as you would with a boutique designer. All in all I spent $7 per invitation ($8 if you include postage), half the average cost of invitations ordered through boutique designers (whose work I adore, of course).
Details: Printed on Somerset 300gsm paper in Soft White. Invitation measures 115 x 170 mm (4.5" x 6.7"). Response card measures 90 x 127 mm (3.5" x 5") and was printed on both sides for additional cost (flat fee).
Tip: The soft, spongy Somerset paper works as a postcard without an envelope, but they'll get a bit shredded on the ends when they get back to you, thanks to the US Postal Service machines. I'd recommend putting these in envelopes.
Dress. Cocoe Voci, Bride Power (Newton, MA) Highly Recommended $199 + S&H (originally $2,200)
I had a very strict budget for the wedding dress but aspired to wear a unique (and hopefully designer) dress—$500 max. Bride Power is an online outlet for a Boston-area bridal salon. I got a sample dress in a size 10 (most gowns are in the 6-10 range, although there are many 12+) on Mega Markdown. After contacting Customer Service that there was no "Buy It Now" button on the page for this particular dress, I saw that it was updated and promptly bought it (Fate, right?). I received the gown in a huge box about 3-4 weeks later, along with clear instructions on how to try on the dress and a clear return policy. Bride Power cleans and repairs all gowns before shipping them out, but it's still a good idea to ask about any known flaws.
Tip: Buying a gown online requires having your personal accurate measurements and knowing the manufacturer's size chart. Ask about any flaws in the gown; mine had an imperfection at the hem with a notable seam, but it was removed when I had the dress hemmed.
Alterations. Louise Austrie (Oakland) Highly Recommended $220
Louise has worked with women's apparel for 35 years. She came highly recommended on the UC Berkeley Parents Network. She's extremely friendly but speaks matter-of-factly (she told me I had to hit the gym, which I did), and her rates are very reasonable for her skill and knowledge. I did an initial consultation and two fittings wherein we shortened the shoulder strap, took in the bodice, let out the dress, hemmed the bottom and added a one-point bustle.
Tip: Always wear your day-of undergarments to your fitting sessions, as you'll want to make sure everything fits just right that day.
Gown Cleaning. Ideal Cleaners (Oakland) Highly Recommended $45
Prompt and competent drycleaner. I got my dress in five days. As a plus, my parents were able to pick it up for me while I was at work on the day before the wedding, without the original order slip (since I had it with me)! I just had to phone in and make a special request, which they agreed to without any trouble.
Wedding Bands. Blue Nile Highly Recommended $525 for 2 rings (one titanium, one platinum)
My husband never wears rings and was totally clueless when it came to his ring size. The free ring sizer they sent upon request was very helpful.
Bridal Hat. Erica Koesler H-5007 in Diamond White, Sweet Soiree Recommended with Heavy Reservations $190 plus S&H
I love the bridal hat itself, but I was less than impressed with the customer service at Sweet Soiree. When the order failed to arrive within the time specified on the Order Status page (and the UPS Tracker failed to list anything), I sent two unanswered e-mails. Two months later, I send a much more stern e-mail documenting the entire situation and basically threatening to contact the Better Business Bureau because I wasn't getting any response from the company about my order status. Finally a response comes and it turns out that orders are fulfilled in order of event date; I ordered my hat in July 2006, but had an April 2007 wedding. I get my hat, but basically three months later with very little communication.
Tip: The Erica Koesler factory is in North Hollywood, where an adjacent outlet also sells bridal veils and headpieces at a discount.
Fur Wrap. Faux fur bolero, Zara (San Francisco, Union Square) Highly Recommended $59.99
April weather can be unpredictable, so I was grateful to have had a coverup instead of borrowing my husband's tuxedo jacket. As befits this Spanish-based mega-retailer of high-street fashion, inventory changes rapidly at Zara so it's unlikely that future knotties will be able to find one there exactly like mine, but so many knotties have asked about where I got it that I should just include it here for reference. It also goes to show you that you can get stuff without the "bridal" name tag—or "bridal" price tag, for that matter! I had seen similar bolero wraps on Jessica McClintock's online bridal boutique for twice the cost of mine.
Tip: Fur boleros can be found on eBay for bargain prices. Alternatively, consider it your "something borrowed" and wear your mother's/relative's/friend's vintage fur coat.
Bridal Jewelry. 'Diana' Brooch (for bustle) and 'Isabelle' Brooch (for strap), White Aisle Recommended $19.99 + S&H each
Payment via PayPal was a snap and shipments were sent out quickly. However, they sent me the wrong brooch! I e-mailed them and they said that they would send me a new one, along with a prepaid shipping label to return the old one. When I get the second shipment the correct brooch is in there, but no shipping label. When I e-mailed them about it, they said that the label printer wasn't working so I could keep the second brooch. Pretty sweet deal in the end, and the brooches are nice. I ended up wearing both.
Purse. Nordstrom brand, Nordstrom (SF-Westfield) Highly Recommended $78
I've generally been very impressed with the quality of service at Nordstorm, including an instance at Broadway Plaza where I was able to trade in my two-year old Chanel sunglasses for new ones at their MSRP value, without a receipt! The salespeople in charge of handbags at their Westfield San Francisco Centre location are very friendly and willing to spend a lot of time with you.
Shoes. 'Margaret' by Hollywould, Zappos Couture Highly Recommended $140 + S&H (originally $700+)
Zappos doesn't have sales very frequently but when they do, you can net some really fantastic deals. Free shipping on returns for up to a year has really encouraged me to buy and return pairs of shoes, guilt-free. Buyer reviews are extremely helpful in helping pick what size shoe to purchase, too.
Tip: Bridal shoes don't have to be white. Consider a fun accent color that compliments the event's color scheme, or go with versatile metallics.
Menswear. Wilke Rodriguez notch lapel tuxedo with Legacy vest and Euro tie. Men's Wearhouse (Fairfield-Solano Mall) Highly Recommended ~$89 after coupon $20 off plus free vest and shoes
My husband and I waltzed into Men's Wearhouse with at least five groomsmen and no appointment, but we were treated with a friendly attitude and all the men were sized promptly. The manager sat patiently with me and my husband as we chose the tuxedo styles, wrote down the entire party's information and rang everybody up. Tuxedos had to be returned the next day, and that process was also seamless. Apparently my husband did not receive his cufflinks when he picked up his tuxedo but he told them about it when he returned everything and he was not charged for it.
Tuxedo Style: Wilke Rodriguez notch lapel 100% wool tuxedoes, with Legacy vest and Euro tie. Groom in Cream with Ivory shirt, Groomsmen in Black vest/tie combo with White shirt.
Tip: Be sure to look for wedding party coupons to save money for all the men. There are always incentives available.
Bride's Hair/Makeup. Jira Thivawongsakal, wowPretty (San Mateo) Highly Recommended $120 trial + $300 day-of (includes $40 travel fee)
Jira arrived promptly at my parents' house at the time we agreed upon and immediately set up shop. She had reference photos from our trial and asked me if there was anything I wanted to change, which was thoughtful. She was extremely friendly to me, my bridesmaids and my mother. My makeup seriously lasted all night even as I teared it up on the dance floor, save for my lip gloss (all that kissing!), but I carried my own personal stash to do touch-ups throughout the evening. Do note that Jira requires ample workspace and lots of light, and that she only accepts cash on the day of; however, the trial and the day-of advance deposit can be paid via personal check.
Tip: Always bring photographs to show the stylist and don't be afraid to tell him or her if you want to change something.
Bridal Party's Hair/Makeup. Kalani Germono and Melissa (San Jose) Highly Recommended $50-70 for hair, $50 for makeup (no travel fee)
I met Kalani through one of my bridesmaids and I instantly found her to be extremely friendly and talented. Kalani and her colleague, Melissa, are recent graduates from Paul Mitchell in San Francisco. Kalani and Melissa arrived at my parents' house at the scheduled time, before even I arrived (but my bridesmaids were there)! Like Jira, they immediately set up shop in another bathroom and set to work on six women's hairdos. All the girls were extremely pleased with their unique updos (each girl has their own sense of style) and they held up all evening.
Tip: If you don't have a preset style chosen for your bridal party, encourage your girls to bring photographs to show the stylist and tell them to not hesitate if you want to change something.
Photo Development. TBD (mpix.com?)
Favors. Matcha Mousse Pocky, JBox.com (San Diego, CA) Highly Recommended $195 for 60 boxes of 3 packets, or about $1.08/person
Word of caution: This site sells adult products, in addition to Japanese snacks. Don't say I didn't warn you about the bizarre Hello Kitty... item.
Having said that, purchasing Pocky through a bulk supplier was easier than trying to find this fairly rare flavor at my local Ranch 99 Asian supermarket. The $195 price includes shipping from Japan via EMS.
Rehearsal Dinner. Restaurant Peony (Oakland, CA) Recommended from $200 per table (including soda, tax and tip)
Chinese banquets are not for the squeamish, so we stuck to fairly safe courses. Waitstaff was very accomodating to our two vegetarians and allowed them to order off the a la carte menu. I don't know if I wasn't as big a fan of their banquets as I am of their dim sum, but I think it was just the pre-wedding nerves getting to me: I had absolutely no appetite in the last few days leading up to the wedding, but my husband said he and his groomsmen enjoyed the food. We were given our own private party room which was simply decorated with red and pink paper lanterns and pink table napkins. There is ample (if tight) parking at the Pacific Renaissance Plaza, but be forewarned that the Webster Street entrance closes early. We all had to scramble to find street parking or loop around to find the open Franklin Street entrance.
Registry. Macy's (Stonestown Galleria) / WeddingChannel.com Highly Recommended Free to register
Neither I nor my husband ever set foot in Macy's to do the registry. We found a healthy selection of items online and if you have a Macy's card, you can sign up for the Registry Rewards program for cash back on a percentage of all registry purchases. You receive e-mail notifications for items that are backordered with an estimated ship date; so far any backordered items have been delivered ahead of that estimated ship date. So far, none of our gifts have arrived broken, but one wine glass (from the Luigi Bormioli "Michaelangelo" line) had a dimple of sand deposit in it. I took it to Macy's Stonestown Galleria where the sales associate simply swapped out the defective glass for a fresh new one. No need to surrender my receipt.
The Honeymoon
Airfare. British Airways
Vacation Rental. Apartment in Old Nice, France homeaway.com, via Ian Chamberlain (owner) pending $700 per week
Tip: If you don't need round-the-clock service, vacation rentals can be a great way to economize on longterm travel lodging and get a feel for a more authentic experience than staying in a hotel.
Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix Tickets. Formula1.com Recommended $1,700 for 2 grandstand seats "Swimming Pool"
This was the primary reason for going to Monaco and therefore our biggest splurge. It was infinitely easier to buy tickets from Formula1.com than Formula1Monaco.com. Only thing is that Formula1.com has a limited variety of seats available for the event and charges more, whereas Formula1Monaco.com allows you to pick the exact seat and charges less. Unfortunately, we could not order tickets online at Formula1Monaco.com and the phone number listed on their website didn't work, so we resigned to paying more at Formula1.com.
Additional Supplies
All these suppliers are highly recommended
Invitation Envelopes A7 envelopes from p.s. collection in Chartreuse, Paper Source
Invitation Enclosures, #206 S 115 x 170 mm (4.5 x 6.7") single cards and matching #206 E 120 x 180 mm (4.7" x 7") envelopes, Thank You Cards, #208 S 85 x 132 mm single cards and matching #208 E 90 x 140 mm (3.5" x 5.5") envelopes, Menu/Reception Program Cards, #206 S 115 x 170 mm (4.5 x 6.7") single cards, all from the Mediovalis stationery line by Fabriano, at Blick Art Supplies
Invitation Mailing Labels and Favor Labels, standard sheet uncut adhesive paper, Office Depot
Place Cards and Ceremony Programs, 8.5" x 11" Laser Coverstock (67 lb.) in Ivory, Paper Presentation
Vase Gems in Goldenrod Tiger's Eye, $1.49 per 3/4-lb. bag, Save on Crafts
Hurricane Vases, $4.99 ea., Michael's
Candles FLORERA 3" x 6" pillars in Brown, $1.99 ea., IKEA
Signature Photo Frame, 32" x 34" with 8" x 10" opening in Black/White, $39.99 on sale, Pottery Barn
Seating Chart Frame, 18" x 24" frame in Dark Brown (price unknown, purchased by my mom), Michael's
Initials "D" and "G" 8" tall wooden letters in White, $10 ea., Pottery Barn Kids
Ribbon, Michael's
DIY
The first big tip to DIY is to create test copies of your items using scratch paper until you are ready to use the real deal. Materials aren't cheap.
Choose a set of fonts and stick with it. It will keep a visual consistency across all your stationery, even if the colors don't sync up perfectly.
Invitations. Designed by myself. Letterpress by Mercurio Brothers. Custom size Somerset 300gsm 115 x 170mm card with 90 x 127mm (3.5" x 5") response card.
Envelopes. Outer: A7 envelopes from p.s. collection in Chartreuse, Paper Source; Inner: matching #206 E 120 x 180 mm (4.7" x 7") envelopes. Printed on an Epson 1280 Photo Stylus color inkjet printer. The inkjet printer handles printing envelopes much better than the laser printer.
Invitation Mailing Labels, 8.5 x 11" standard sheet uncut adhesive paper (5 labels per sheet, 7.75" x 1.75"), Office Depot, Printed on a Dell 3100cn color laser printer.
Invitation Enclosures. #206 S 115 x 170 mm (4.5 x 6.7") cards, Mediovalis stationery line by Fabriano, Blick Art Supplies. Printed on a Dell 3100cn color laser printer.
Ceremony Programs 8-1/2" x 11" Laser Coverstock (67 lb.) in Ivory, Paper Presentation Designed wholly with Microsoft Publisher Printed on a Dell 3100cn color laser printer
Paper Presentation sells pre-scored coverstock for brochures, making them easier to fold. Had I switched to a brochure-style program earlier, I would have bought pre-scored coverstock instead.
Menu/Reception Program Cards #206 S 115 x 170 mm (4.5 x 6.7") single cards, Mediovalis stationery line by Fabriano, Blick Art Supplies Designed wholly with Microsoft Publisher Printed on a Dell 3100cn color laser printer
Although I have a duplex module on my laser printer (meaning it can print on both sides of the paper automatically), the small size of this cardstock meant that I had to flip it manually. I didn't mind that much; it was far less painful than cutting larger pieces of paper to the exact proportions. If your programs are tea length (aka #10, 3-7/8" x 9-1/4"), then it might be easier to print first, then cut en masse later.
Place Cards Printed six to a sheet of 8-1/2" x 11" Laser Coverstock (67 lb.) in Ivory, Paper Presentation Printed on a Dell 3100cn color laser printer
Template from MGC Paper. Score along the folding edges before cutting into individual cards for ease of folding. It also keeps the cards from losing their shape.
THE TIMELINE
Note: These are all approximations but I don't think we deviated from the timeline all that much.
8:30 - 12:30pm Bridesmaids' Hair/Makeup 10:30am - 12:30pm Bride's Hair/Makeup 12:30pm Photographer arrives 1:00pm Florist arrives at church 1:30pm Wedding Party arrives at church
2:30 - 4:00pm Ceremony 4:00pm - 4:30pm Formal Portraits
4:00pm - 5:00pm Cocktail Hour 5:00pm Introductions by the Emcees Introduction of the Wedding Party Introduction of the Bride and Groom ~ First Dance Blessing of the Food 6:00pm - 7:00pm Dinner (During dinner) Toasts and Speeches 7:00pm - 7:05pm Parents Dance 7:05pm Cake Cutting 7:05pm - 7:30pm Money Dance 7:30pm - 8:30pm Open Dancing 8:30pm - 8:35pm Bouquet and Garter Tosses 8:35pm - 9:45pm Open Dancing 9:45pm [Impromptu] Closing Words by the Bride and Groom 9:45pm - 10:00pm Last Dance
THE MENU
Hors d'Oeuvres Custom-designed passed hors d'oeuvres inspired by our honeymoon destination, the French Riviera
Crostini Artichaut et Chèvre miniature baguette slice with artichoke and goat cheese purée Pissaladière Niçoise puff pastry with anchovy, thyme, clove, and fennel, topped with caramelized onions Crostini Confit de Canard miniature baguette slice with braised duck, olives and oranges
Crostini Artichaut et Chèvre miniature baguette slice with artichoke and goat cheese purée
Pissaladière Niçoise puff pastry with anchovy, thyme, clove, and fennel, topped with caramelized onions
Crostini Confit de Canard miniature baguette slice with braised duck, olives and oranges
Salad
Butter Leaf Lettuce Salad with bleu cheese, candied pecans, dried cranberries and raspberry vinaigrette
Entrée Selections California-Mediterranean dishes from the kitchen's menu
Stuffed Chicken Breast with spinach, pine nuts, aged jack cheese, and citrus zest served with roasted potatoes and seasonal vegetables Fresh Grilled Salmon with tarragon orange butter served with garlic mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables Butternut Squash Ravioli with sage and leek cream sauce
Stuffed Chicken Breast with spinach, pine nuts, aged jack cheese, and citrus zest served with roasted potatoes and seasonal vegetables
Fresh Grilled Salmon with tarragon orange butter served with garlic mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables
Butternut Squash Ravioli with sage and leek cream sauce
Dessert Tropical sweets that pay tribute to our "sweet" homeland, the Philippines
Auntie Millet's Wedding Cake aromatic pandan chiffon cake with whipped cream and macapuno (young coconut) filling, dressed in vanilla fondant Buko Salad Young coconut with gelatin, lychee, nata de coco, and sugar palm Karioka deep-fried sweet rice ball with coconut and carmelized sugar coating Pichi Pichi steamed cassava cakes sweetened with sugar, pandan extract, and grated coconut Turon deep-fried eggroll stuffed with saba plaintains and jackfruit Ube Roll sweet purple yam chiffon cake with whipped cream and macapuno
Auntie Millet's Wedding Cake aromatic pandan chiffon cake with whipped cream and macapuno (young coconut) filling, dressed in vanilla fondant
Buko Salad Young coconut with gelatin, lychee, nata de coco, and sugar palm
Karioka deep-fried sweet rice ball with coconut and carmelized sugar coating
Pichi Pichi steamed cassava cakes sweetened with sugar, pandan extract, and grated coconut
Turon deep-fried eggroll stuffed with saba plaintains and jackfruit
Ube Roll sweet purple yam chiffon cake with whipped cream and macapuno
Wine Selections Cheekily referred to on our menus as "A Sip of California"
Sonoma: Geyser Peak Sauvignon Blanc 2006 Monterey: Jekel Vineyards Pinot Noir 2005 Mendocino: Roederer Estate Brut NV
Sonoma: Geyser Peak Sauvignon Blanc 2006
Monterey: Jekel Vineyards Pinot Noir 2005
Mendocino: Roederer Estate Brut NV
THE MUSIC
Ceremony
Prelude
Georg Friederic Handel
Ombra Mai Fu (aka "Largo," from Xerxes)
Claude Debussy
Clair de Lune
Franz Liszt
Liebesträume ("Dreams of Love")
Processional
Johannes Brahms
St Anthony's Chorale
Entrance of the Bride
Richard Wagner
Bridal Chorus (from Lohengrin)
Rite of Marriage
Frederick Chopin
Nocturne in E Flat, Opus 9, Number 2
Congregational Hymns
Gift of Finest Wheat I Have Loved You With An Everlasting Love
Recessional
Ludwig van Beethoven
Symphony Number 9 ("Ode to Joy")
Reception
Cocktail Hour
Thievery Corp.
Porno 3003
Tickertape of the Unconscious
Sexelevatormusik
Holographic Universe
2001 Spliff Odyssey
Shaolin Satellite
Introduction of Entourage
The Staple Singers
I'll Take You There
First Dance
Heatwave
Always and Forever
Newlyweds/Parents Dance
Al Green
Let's Stay Together
Dinner
D'Angelo
Feel Like Making Love
Brown Sugar
Spanish Joint
Digable Planets
Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)
Erykah Badu
On and On
John Legend
Save Room
Maxwell
Sumthin' Sumthin'
Teddy Pendergrass
Close the Door
Tribe Called Quest
Bonita Applebum
The Roots
Act Too (The Love of My Life)
Cake Cutting
Mary J. Blige
Sweet Thing
Money Dance
Slow Dance
L.T.D.
Love Ballad
Alicia Keys
You Don't Know My Name
If I Ain' Got U
Smokey Robinson
Cruisin'
Ordinary People
Dancing
Big Boi
I Like the Way You Move
Lucy Pearl
Dance Tonight
Carl Carlton
She's A Bad Mama Jama
The Commodores
Brick House
Earth Wind & Fire
Shining Star
September
Marvin Gaye
Let's Get It On
Got to Give It Up
Michael Jackson
Rock With You
Shalamar
This is for the Lover in You
George Clinton
Flashlight
Award Tour
Zhane
Hey Mr. DJ
Bouquet Toss
Beastie Boys
Hey Ladies
Garter Toss
En Vogue
Giving Him Something He Can Feel
Last Dance
Des'ree
I'm Kissing You
LESSONS LEARNED
First off, the wallet damage. All in all, our wedding cost about $26,000* on church-and-country-club wedding for 180 guests (160 attended). According to one industry source, the average wedding in the San Francisco Bay Area is a little more than $43,000. Being a fairly young couple recently out of college with ambitions of buying a home in this notoriously expensive area put perspective on our wedding budget.
* Does not include engagement ring or honeymoon, but that would still put us just below the local average.
Some Advice
It is possible to enjoy your wedding. It will go by quickly, but take the time to chat with guests, eat some food, and dance!
Wear double-sided tape. I forgot all about this and since my dress is one-shoulder (practically strapless), I was periodically pulling up the left side of my dress to avoid showing "the goods." Toupee tape, which you can purchase from beauty supply stores, is an inexpensive solution to specially branded "bridal" double-sided tape.
Remember: suck it in, "girls" up, and wear a big smile. You're on film, baby... gotta look hot for future generations.
Delegate tasks to trusted people to perform on the wedding day. Make sure that your bridal party knows their primary responsibilities, but there are other small tasks: assisting guests with the seating chart or escort cards, ushering guests to the guestbook for them to sign, paying the vendors, dressing up the getaway vehicle, cleaning up the venue after the wedding, etc.
Write your vendor checks ahead of time. Organize them by venue, and give them to people you trust (day-of coordinator, best man or maid of honor) in order to ensure that vendors get paid. I had three big envelopes:
1) vendors at my mom's house: hair and makeup stylists 2) vendors at the church: coordinator, cantor, accompanist, officiant 3) vendors at the reception: DJ (normally the photographer would also be paid here, but I paid her online via PayPal)
I enclosed the check in a small envelope with a thank you card of appreciation to each vendor.
Don't worry about your ceremony movements being perfect. No one will know the difference as long as you maintain an air of solemnity. And even then, don't be afraid to have a sense of humor. The ringbearer followed the priest all the way up the stairs instead of standing at the altar and walked right over my train (thank God he didn't play out in the rain before the ceremony!)! It was hilarious, as was another moment when we responded a second too slow to the priest's question/vow about our willingness to have children—we were waiting if he had more to say and ended up sounding befuddled. Now that was comedy gold.
Let him be. We stuck together like glue for the first half of our wedding. But, as much as we tried to stick together for the majority of the reception, once open dancing started we let each other do their own thing. He got to chop it up with old friends, I got to tear it up on the dance floor with old friends. At most we were separate for 30 minutes (during open dancing) and came back together for the bouquet and garter tosses.
For better or worse, I didn't have a "Do Not Play" list. I wanted guests to feel comfortable to approach the DJ and ask for any song they wanted. This can lead to abrupt changes in rhythm, but it also means that old and young alike can get their groove on. Just try to design your "Must Play" list to include songs that all ages will enjoy.
Don't let the little unexpected details get to you. The cake wasn't magazine perfect (the fondant cracked during air transit), but I didn't care. It tasted heavenly and given the lowlight of the reception, no one noticed. Best of all, it was free -- a gift from my aunt who worked her keister off the day-of to deliver a whole dessert table. I love her. Delicious!
But show off the little details. I worked on the stationery for a long time to get them just right, and it paid off. One of my best friends who I gushed about my wedding experiences for the entire two-year engagement (bless his heart) was asked to comment on various things: "Oh yeah, she designed those." "Yep, they got those from Japan."
People love edible favors. The Pocky was a hit. Similarly, our dessert table was incredibly popular and guests were thrilled to take the extras home.
WORDS AND IMAGES
intimate / romantic / sultry / glamourous / modern / elegant / sleek / youthful
Old Hollywood: The Remix. The catalyst was a promotional photo of Gwen Stefani as the starlet Jean Harlow as featured in Martin Scorcese's The Aviator. I was immediately transported to a glamorous and optimistic time in history and I wanted to recreate her look for the wedding—luxurious fur, streamlined and slinky dress. My husband wanted to wear a black tuxedo (inner James Bond), so that set the tone for the men. Additionally, we both like the same kind of music and thought that the sultry grooves (especially Al Green, Marvin Gaye, D'Angelo, John Legend) would serve as a 21st-century version of a smoky cabaret. Having a romantic candlelit venue at a posh historic country club helped convey this tremendously.
A Sense of Humor. To keep the wedding light-hearted, we injected some personality into it by including a few items. In lieu of a traditional "engagement photo" for our signature photo frame, we used a photo of miniature penguins that I bought for him on one of our first dates at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (fka Marine World); he recently represented them to me on Valentine's Day, twelve years after I thought they were long gone. Our favors were Japanese Pocky snacks because we're both Japanophiles.
Ikebana. The flowers were to be single flower compositions with attention to line, form, and texture, using flowers that were seasonal. Blossom branches were a key element, as they are interlocked with springtime and new beginnings; in Japan, ikebana arrangements of sho-chiku-bai (pine-bamboo-plum blossom) are common, since they symbolize longevity, a prized virtue of a good marriage.
Vintage Type with a Color Kick. The graphic design was all inspired by vintage press, from the circular -since 1995- monogram seal to the letterpress invitations. In contrast to many knotties, I didn't want the stationery to have too many Victorian ornamental flourishes. The bold Engraver's font leaves a deep impression when used for letterpress, and punchy colors made it all contemporary.
INSPIRING KNOTTIES
WEDDING TECH
STYLE & ETIQUETTE
BAY AREA RESOURCES
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